Mopy, I've held off on posting this, but I think I should even if you don't care to hear it. I've had the pleasure of watching you evolve over the last two years. I've watched you succeed and fail through a computer screen and I have rejoiced in your times of triumph and hoped in your times of sadness. I know that you've backpedaled a bit. I know you tried to live more sober and although I know that you weren't really trying to stop smoking, you did anyways and I was so proud of you. Now, as you may know, I have nothing against pot. I truly believe you should do what makes you happy, but it seems to me that you may be self medicating due to. accepting your place in life (which is lower than you dreamed it would be). I beg you to reconsider, if only for a moment. Perhaps this dude is only here for a short time. Nothing has to last forever to be successful and I think that if you learn from this, then it can be considered successful. Have fun while you can, backpedal if you must. An arrow has to be drug back to be propelled into the future, and I think that big things await you. You are a wonderful person. Please don't settle for less than you deserve.
I don't know. If he loves you, then I think that he should be able to come to terms with this, but that is a huge deception in your part and I think that it is entirely possible that he will just decide this isn't for him. Either way, I think that you should learn a valuable lesson from this. Make it clear from the very beginning who you are and what you are. It isn't fair to have put him through this.
People who need therapy don't just need someone to listen - they need counsel, advice, maybe a diagnosis. You can't expect regular people to do that for you. It's a good thing to be getting help, so. you can either continue to be bitter or you can smile about the future. Either way, it's up to you.
I think one of the questions should be - how are you so sure that you're one of the "good people"?
Pickers can't be choosers. You don't want to move out? Time to live with the consequences. It sucks, but mAybe this is the wake up call you desperately need. Learn from this. Improve yourself and your life.