People will always find fault. You are who you are, and thats not defineable. People get drunk, and you recognize improvement in yourself going towards where you want to be. Focus on that. No one else matters. We become what we fill the void with.
I dont think it was blackmail but rather a feeling they had, sometimes people feel alone even if they arent. The relationship ended because of other stuff, not by me but probably mutually. Love seems like a painful experience in my life. Thanks for your reply.
Yes newfie land was an odd place. But beautiful and geologically amazing. I recommend hiking the lewis hills.
Kensington is a lot of fun.
Go ahead. When you get raped and abused, emotionally tortured. and have a "pimp", you will be estranged from your family. You will be a slave, without your consent. Go ahead and glamorize the lifestyle. Easy come easy go. Even the cops wont be able to help you, because there will be no proof that it wasnt done without your consent. This is how people get into human traficking. If you really want to get into this career path go look it up. If you value your life, research the field like you would any other job. It is so upsetting when I see girls willing to become a puppet and are excited by the opportunity. Why not have a healthy relationship with a boy your age? Instead of a pedophile?
Thanks Mopy. It really helps to have outside perspective. Im hurting i guess. Maybe arrogantly, I am afraid that i will hurt this person and theyll hurt themselves permanently. Theyve told me they want to and im the only reason they havent. I also fear that im giving up something amazing and just don't "believe" them when they say they love me, that im the problem and expect too much.
Thanks for the kind words and the song, it was beautiful.
I dont want to own someone and I dont need words or I love yous. I never really wanted that. I just wanted someone to be affectionate without being asked and to have my feelings considered, to have my company wanted.
Jeez. Thats a lot of self shaming. Whatever you did, people have done far worse than you. You cant time travel so it may help to accept what the past has been. Grudges for yourself or others will only tear away at your relationship with yourself. There is no point to obsess over our mistakes. Which may or may not have even done any harm, Im sure no one else thinks of your mistakes as often as you do unless they are toxic people. I highly recommend you get a CBT app for your device. There are many free ones. It helps you challenge your beliefs and such thought patterns.
Probably tell your friend and then call a distress line. I would recommend kids help phone if you have that in your country.
These arent just for suicide. Sometimes things like this happen and you need someone to talk to and help you deal. If it doesnt work try 9-1-1 or whatever emergency line you have and the operator will connect you to the right service. Or sometimes call 0 for operator.
People get away with this sort of thing. You could report them for lying if you really wanted to. I'm sure that people who lie like that. they have issues. Pathological lying is probably an illness in itself. Eventually the secret comes out though. Not your job to fix people.
Hope you've been well?
True. We all land somewhere on all the spectrums. Yea, I figured I'm not a narc. I just act crazy when Im on a crazy train, when the conductor insists I'm seeing things.
Try new things.
See what makes your soul come alive, and what makes you smile. What you are meant to do might be work, but it won't feel like work as you do it. Sitting shut up in a room simply thinking about it wont make you discover anything.
Very spooky. Maybe it's about coming full circle and seeing how far we've come.
& Some growing pains but I'm good! Thanks :)
Wow. coincidentally I posted after a 2/3 years as well. Gad to see things are a lot better for you :)
This is exactly what I need. Except I don't want just 3 kids, I also want a sheep.
It is indeed sexual assualt and something to call CPS about. You can call anonymously, and speak to them on the phone and ask their opinion on the matter. They can't really do anything without your consent. They won't arrest your father, they'll just take you to a safe location (most likely to another family member's home to live) and make it so that he can't be with you alone. You deserve to feel safe in a place you call home.
:p I feel like you made a post or comment about me a long time ago, it was really touching. I can't remember what it said just remember feeling really happy that someone would take the time to write that. So thank you for making me feel special. :) Hope you've been well.
You're more capable than you think, this doesn't make you a loser. Why not have an evening full of movies you love, watch comedy, order your favorite restaurant take out, and make it an evening? Buy yourself flowers, have a bubble bath. being alone is no reason to be miserable. You deserve to be happy. : )