However unhealthy I believe he is to you and especially in close proximity, I'm sure there was many memories and attachments/comfort felt knowing he was around and so close. It's okay to mourn for that closeness. I hope you feel better soon.
Lingerie? Sexual innuendos?
Haha, that sounded so cringe-worthy just reading it. Sorry you had to go through that
Your hashtag got me laughing. Hope it goes well with magic #9 lmao :)
First off, I am by no means a professional therapist or anything close.
Yes, you need professional help, but know this isn't your fault. What happened all those years wasn't your fault. You were a child who trusted in adults, and that one adult failed you. You are doing the best you can with what you have. And honestly, you are amazing. I don't have to know you to know you are a wonderful person. I know it's hard for you to trust people, you're probably looking at my words and being skeptical about it. That is okay. That is your defensive mechanism kicking in to try to protect yourself from danger. Regardless, the only thing I wish for you is to talk to a therapist for your own sake.
Nobody deserves to ever go through what you went through. I will pray and will good vibes your way.
Thank you Cynic for correcting me :)
I don't think there's anything wrong with you per se. High school is just an emotional time in everyone's life. More than that, I think the bigger problem is that you don't really seem to love yourself. It kind of seem like you're trying to get others to love you instead.
But even me telling you this won't really impact you. You're just going to have to ride that ride and figure things out for yourself. Don't cut or do any self harm. Instead reflect on why you feel the way you do. And honestly, I would say, join clubs or hang out with friends to distract yourself whenever possible. I wouldn't try to jump into another relationship anytime soon because obviously doing that has been hurting you.
He's probably trying to show dominance. Like a dog that pees on s**t, you know, primitive crap. What a jackass he still is, good grief.
Dude I don't agree with your choice but at the same time I'm not in charge of your life. To each their own but at the same time think of the damage you would deal to the family as a whole or at least think how that would affect the children.
I'm cheesing so hard right now. Your life is like a rollercoaster. Please update about Dan if something happens, please lol
And for a sec, I thought your post said Magic MIKE Number 9. I was like wtf when did all this happen? Haha
You tell him. The worst thing he can do is say he doesn't feel the same. BUT that's A LOT better than NOT saying anything and having them end up together without you ever telling him or him ever knowing. Good luck
I hope things continue to look up for you. You are a resilient person. Do your best :)
Good grief, between you and ATripToNowhere, my heart can't take the poetic grace that you two have bestow upon me. WHY CANT I HAVE THIS IN MY LIFE?!?!
*foaming at the mouth* my god man, you have a way with words. I really hope you get that person you write about. I'm so impatient lol, I just want to know what happens next already! <3
And honestly I wish I could say that if a good thing is meant to be, it'll come easily but that's not how the world works. Some people are lucky and they get what they want effortlessly but there's a s**t ton of others who are not as fortunate and have to work harder to obtain their happiness. I'm not saying either way is correct or more valuable. Just stating a fact.
Thinking that you aren't special is dangerous. It's great to appreciate what you have but when you know you are settling that you start thinking well this is the best I can do I might as well accept that I can even get this much, that is NOT okay. I know as the older we get, the thought of a fairytale ending fades to gray but know there is others out there thinking the same as you. There are men out there settling for manipulative and/or abusive females because they don't think they can find someone who will love and appreciate what they have to offer. Yes, I think this person is very much manipulative and mentally abusive, sorry if I offend you with my opinion. It can be scary being by yourself if you leave him, it can be scary thinking what if you can't find anyone better than him, that you messed up. Trust me, when you finally learn to love and accept yourself for the amazing person that you are, you won't settle for less. There's plenty of guys out there that find you physically and mentally attractive, age is just a number. A job is just a job. Those are just a few things ABOUT you, but they don't DEFINE you. You are so much more than any of that.
When I said you are special, I didn't mean like you had to be wonder woman and save the world or anything. What I meant is what makes you happy, the things that catch your breath, the things that make cry, the little things that angers you, your personality etc makes you unique thus making you special. There's no one out there that is exactly the same as you. You are one of a kind. So yeah, that's great you think Derek is 10/10 but what you really need is to realize you ARE a 10/10 and that the person you choose to be with thinks the same. It would just really suck if one day he breaks your heart and you realized you wasted your time on a loser who you thought was hot s**t when you could have had the time to find a real winner who would never disrespect you or make you feel less valued. If you don't feel like youre not an equal in a relationship then in the end, you won't be happy and what's the point of that, it's a waste of your precious time. Sorry for my tangent again. It's your life and you decide how you live but just know there are strangers out here knowing you deserve a lot better than what this Derek gives you. Even as a stranger, I'll support you no matter what you choose, I just wish you would choose for what's in your own best interest not for what you can settle for.
I know it's not my place to say anything but I can't stand it when people say they aren't good enough for someone or they are 'lucky' if they are chosen. And yeah, I don't know you personally but you are beautiful, fierce, and passionate. You decide your own worth and your own fate in the end but I believe everyone deserves to be happy and feel like they are special. Because YOU are special and it makes me sad to think you thought otherwise. You exist and that itself, is amazing, don't you forget that.
Hi, sorry if this is weird but the way you write your posts are absolutely stunning.