Avoidance And Other Barriers

Even my body is shutting down to avoid this. Normally restless me now just says sleep. Sleep and don't stop. I'm stuck. I can't get started. Don't know my way around this, don't get...
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That Old Parachute

I have been approaching this stupidly. Simply, I didn't move here in the first place on my own, and never intended to. I would have never done it, if I were alone at that time. So,...
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Or, Staying Put's Okay, Too

While I've been pipe dreaming for nearly a decade about getting the crud out of this province, it turns out that the province I'm in and always have been, is a prime place in this...
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Hair Isn't The Only Thing To Recede When You Get Older

I was somehow anticipating something like this, today. I don't know why, maybe because I'm trying to change and do things while I still seem young, but having just turned an age that...
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Stepping Over My Own Traps

How can I dare to even think of doing better for myself when I remember what horribleness I have done? The more I improve myself, the more I do, the more I'm waking up to, realizing,...
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The Game Is Too Tempting

I KNOW I'm just being tested and challenged, I get it. But, this one is tempting. Dillon, Derek's bestie, of all people, has decided to contact me today after throwing a tantrum...
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New Year, New Life

I've been writing elsewhere on this, as it happens. There is so much going on, especially internally. The way I obsess is scary, but I'm actually glad it happens. Because, I can't...
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I Just Blew Up On Him

Kinda exactly like what happened nearly a year ago. Lots of words, lots of snide, lots of self-righteousness that is completely justified and unavoidably true. Just like me. And, just...
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I Walked Out

I was ignored all morning and early afternoon. I left, and wouldn't even look at him as I was getting my boots on and gearing up to go. I was only sorry that I had to go past him and...
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Below Grade And Slumming It

I am disappointed by so much. Even with the disappointing flaw that I have in myself, I still don't disappoint myself as much as the world around me does, especially the people....
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Cute Baby Bird

Ah, I can't wait to get going. I'll be on my mini farm, first year herbs and vegetables, expanding from there. I'll have a little greenhouse and chicken coop. In my farmhouse, I'll...
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The Ground Isn't

He'll be lending me his computer, which means I'll finally be able to get some shït done. Which means, I'll finally be able to get some shït out there. Which means: Holy crap! Real...
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I Love You, But I Hate This

I will not be going to Derek's family Christmas, today. Thanks to my stupid, STUPID unwanted way of life. My coworkers got me deathly ill in time for Christmas. Work made me miss...
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I Am What To You, Again?

Last night, he asked me to his family's Christmas. That's kind of a big first milestone in even a determined and established relationship. I certainly wasn't expecting it, though...
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A Breast Man

I was getting dressed for work and showed off my breasts while he still lay in his bed. I let him have access to them before I dressed them, as usual, because he loves them. "Do we...
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Doing What I Can

Because real life is awaiting me and I can not delay. I got through the day, yesterday, miserable and all, but sober. I did almost cave to order cannabis, but stopped mid-text....
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Sober Blues Again

Something is wrong. I'm not okay with sobriety, again. I have today and tomorrow off, and I'm not even alone, yet, and I'm already feeling tedious, bored to tears and pacey. I so want...
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Brunch With Jamie

That was really awkward. I'm sorry to have disappointed you, I could tell I did, so I overcompensated. Whatever. It cost me, but my conscious is sorta clear, now. I know how to fix...
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Killed It (not In The Good Way)

This town is small. Thank the lord. It was my first open mic and it was not my lovely guitar that was basically abused by my incompetence. The microphone sounded so nice, too. My...
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OMG, Poor Fellow

It's probably a dude's worst nightmare to have that happen on him while having sex. Yick. What a time for my period to start! He was cool about it. He's been cool and great about a...
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