All Sorts Of Disappointing

Maybe the best of all worlds doesn't exist for you, but it does for me. Have fun settling for less. I will have fun not settling for anything but.

I find it pretty effing hard to believe that you've read eight years worth of my past arrogant cuntfacery and rebel without a single cause keyboard warrior slinging over the years, and thought I was somehow swell back then, when it's been only recently that I've chilled out and started being much less attack-y. Yeah, still pretty sure you're just a-trollin'.

All Sorts Of Disappointing

I'm a fantastic person, and perfectly happy all on my own. Even though I wasn't attracted to him, I did try to give him a chance. This guy tried to make moves within less than a half an hour of meeting me. Yeah, he's real swell. Awesomely respectful to boot, huh?

I really don't care what you say. I've previously only ever been with, and been in love with, "nice guys", quiet, shy, virginal, etc., (all those typically unattractive guys that most guys say that girls don't go for) who I've had to "grow" into attraction to, and they all eventually crushed my heart, too. At this point in my life, I am allowed to be picky and finally be with someone who I am firstly attracted to for a change. You're not going to get anywhere trying to shame me for going for what I want. Feel sorry for the shmuck all you want. His desperation reeked and was all sorts of deal-breaking. Plus, the way he joked with me was by "tricking me" (flat-out lying) to test my trust and gullibility for his amusement, which is essentially a sociopathic trait. He did this more than once during our brief time together. I'd be absolutely brain-dead stupid to ignore such red flags after the crap I've gone through in life.

And, yes, only people who can live up to my expectations will be allowed to be in my life, even friends. I would only be unhappy in this world if I settled for less. And, since I surprisingly enough DO have some friends, all only amazing, and since I can live up to my own expectations, these people do exist out there, and they're the only people worth associating with.

Why don't you also feel sorry for the drunk neighbour across from me who I refused to open my door to and meet a month ago, who now screams vile obscenities and death threats outside my door whenever he drinks (which is almost always, day and night), who, though I've never seen his face or said a word to him, and though he's never seen mine, I have to file a restraining order against? I didn't give him a chance, either. Poor fellow, I'm sure.

For someone who is supposed to have been in love with me for the past eight years (Nash: I knew that was just an unkind troll post) you sure have a psychopathic way of showing it. Guess you're one of those people I wouldn't have ever given a chance to, and how right my instincts would have been!

Alex, My Friend

Ah well. You grow, you learn, and you either get better or move on to something you're better at. :)

Alex, My Friend

I can tell that the point of this has nothing to do with the writing or story, but to carefully switch the gender each time Alex is addressed. I don't know why that's worth showcasing at all, as it only makes the thing even more intolerable and insipid to read. Gimmicks are useless if the product doesn't stand alone without them.

Would I Be A Jerk To Say We Can't Be Friends?

Absolutely not. You know what you can and can't handle, and you know where he stands. Definitely don't stick around hoping his mind will change. It won't. Not for you, and you don't need to adopt that kind of rejection. Be nice and good to yourself (because no one else will better than you can). So, only associate yourself with those who see you as the most, and who are exactly what you want them to be, friends and lovers alike.

Our Expiry Date

Wow. I just got it, now. I confess, I really didn't understand what the heck you were going on about, didn't make a lick of sense, was incorrect or confused rambling, but a year later, makes perfect sense. Is completely on the mark. Precisely to the letter, played out that exact way.

I've made up my mind. Cakes don't get sweeter with time, either.

Why Won't I?

Knock. The fücker knocks on the door. I can't cut this off!

Why Won't I?

Yup. Her toenails just stepped out not but five minutes ago, and here he is, asking if I finished my painting.

Do not respond. Donotrespond Donotrespond Donotrespond DonotrespondDonotrespondDonotrespondDonotrespondDonotrespondDonotrespond.

Please stop now

It's All Fine

I actually am very grateful, moreso now after the fact than at the time, and the more I think on it, the luckier I feel. It adjusted my attitude as a pedestrian, actually, which I needed.

One New Ache Per Hour

I don't want to be here because nothing will ever come out of it. I never get actual help in these kind of matters. I'll either get fine on my own, or I suffer with whatever comes of it. Even if I went all the way to go through whatever recovery I'd potentially need to go through her insurance, I'm sure something would happen as always that prevents it from actually happening.

He can't believe no one stopped or called the cops. I can! It's the same reason why being here is pointless! It's the reason I'm waiting in here alone! It's the reason why I scared HER, why she didn't see me, why this is not my first time being hit by a car. I'm the type that people hurt, not help, if I'm not right out invisible.

No Which Way Up

Say you dedicated a huge part of yourself to dance for all of your life, then suddenly, you have an accident and are no longer able to dance again. There are more things to life than dancing, but it's going to take awhile to accept, adjust, and figure out another life. And, in the meantime, if you find something that almost feels like dancing, could almost be if you can just fool your mind enough, though deep down you know it's not dancing and never will be, it's temporarily easier and exciting to indulge in it rather than tough the reality out.

I'll get there, eventually. Sorry it's annoying.

Are You F*****g Kidding Me?!

I really had better things to write about, this weekend.

Reconnecting with multiple friends, a surprise late-night visitor, a trip into the city and an oil painting exhibit at the art gallery. Never been to one. Exquisite. Bought a few prints, learned a bit or two.

But, no. I decide to waste writing on this, instead? Don't worry. This picture looks wrong even to me.

A Text Like This

Imagine how much cleaning I'm going to get done without distraction, if I allow.

Stirring The Pot

Welcome back! Hope you're doing well. :)

Grace Assembly Of God

I am 37. God is absolutely real.

Just Boringly Blabbing, Moreso Than Usual

As long as I have room to dream and plan and imagine, I'm always happy.

"You Should Have Just Jumped On Top Of Me"

It's cool. I'm sorry I won't budge. I'm not trying to be an arse.

"You Should Have Just Jumped On Top Of Me"

I'm sorry, but I use quotation marks the way they are actually supposed to be used, as per proper English and punctuation. These were words said by someone other than myself. Therefore, it is a quote which requires quotation marks. If the quote makes a title I want to use, I'm gonna use it. I'm sorry that you choose to improperly use an everyday regular writing necessity as part of some unique identifier to yourself and your posts, as infuriating as that could be to anyone who respects written English and punctuation, but that's something you might want to revisit, instead of asking writers to write improperly.

A Lucky Find

Holy shït, it's goo-ooo-oooooood!

Taking One For The Team

Cynic's right, of course.

But, troll, why do you always have to be a Fail Troll? Don't go by maybes. Go by the truths you know, then go deeper. And, I've spilled all the truths you or any troll needs to really do some damage, but you never do. You can't. It's because you're not smart enough to go deeper. But, you could have at least been lazy and used my age, my self-deception, my desperation, my past failed relationship(s), any of the truths I have aired here as reasons for his reluctance for sexual intercourse. It wouldn't have been that much of a success if you had, but at least it wouldn't have been a complete fail. And, certainly you would not use reasons that I've essentially ruled out from posting exhaustingly about it, here. I have written endlessly about how massive this boy is, that he has changed my vaginal landscape by his sheer size. But, even so, I've also mentioned that our sex has caused me bleeding for lengths of time. This would indicate vaginal tears. You don't get vaginal tears if you're loose. And, I've never written it here, but he moans about how tight and wet I am when we're screwing, as recently as the last time we did, and I doubt he'd say it if I weren't.

Even though I believe he has changed my vaginal landscape, the boy is still simply too huge for me to ever possibly be too loose. And, the fact that that possibility exists in your mind to troll so, only speaks volumes of your own experiences and how small you must be. Unless you bring a mouse to bed with you, you'll never be able to say that you've changed anyone's genitals to match your own massiveness. I know how jealous that makes you wee boys, but relax, as I'm sure with someone as tiny as you, I would indeed be said mineshaft.