I've wanted a girlfriend since I was 4 years old. Over 30 years later, I still do not have a girlfriend. I know I'm never going to get a girlfriend at this point. Even if I do, they're all older than I want now; jaded, divorced and/or with kids. I always wanted to grow old with someone from a young age. Experience everything in due time like a normal person. I'm slowly realizing I will die alone and nothing will change it, not even platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" or "there's someone for everyone" or "things happen in good time" or every single movie ever made.
I understand the appeal of wanting an anime girlfriend. They're not real, they're a fantasy. Just like all my hopes and dreams over the years that have slowly faded over time. I would gladly take an anime girlfriend in some sort of virtual dream space. I hope VR is developed enough in my lifetime so I can touch and feel as well as experience every other sense and redeem this burnt out pile of ash I call my life.
I hope you are more normal than me and grow out of this phase of your life and don't suffer from what I've gone through. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I'm a broken f*****g man.
It sounds like you're the one who got f****d over, so why are you apologizing to the world? You don't owe anyone anything. I've learned a long time ago that you can't depend on other people, you can only trust yourself (if that). Nurture yourself and find a new reason to move on.
(Apologies if I've interpreted this the wrong way)
Ha, I've tried every single dating site in the books. All it does is lead to more misery, especially when you're constantly being ignored or rejected by every single person you reach out to. It all boils down to appearance, and dating sites are inherently superficial. Women have their choice and I've always been picked last. (In that way, it's a lot easier for women to find someone they want to hang out with.)
The thing about lonely people is that they tend to be loners and hard to meet. I've always had a hard time making friends, even as a kid in school. I don't see that ever happening as a jaded adult, either. Being alone isn't always a choice, especially when it's been thrust upon you your entire life. Anyway, it seems like technology is all about isolating and forcing people apart (if Black Mirror is any indication), so I'm just adapting to the times. It's not that sad, as long as I keep myself continually distracted and don't think about it. ;)
I'll take your literary recommendation into consideration, thanks.
Being selfish, I want everything; the best of both worlds. It would be nice to have some companionship every once in awhile instead of always being alone.