This morning, like 5am, I got a text "so, how's the new job, Amy?"
Really? REALLY? I mean, REAAAAALLLY? I just JUST went through two weeks of hell to get rid of one fuckboy from my life, and not but two nights later, another comes sniffing around again? This is absolutely nuts! What the f**k is going on?! Just exactly what is the universe trying to tell me?! The timing. How did he know? Maybe I didn't title him my "magic" no. 9 for just his disappearing act.
We text on, friendly and all, and he's checking to see when I'm available for meeting him, this week. I tell him my schedule and he asks to see me tomorrow night at his place. I agree, but I'm so apprehensive. We settle plans, and I just couldn't let it sit. Normally, I'd clamp up and say nothing, feeling scared, feeling obligated, see how things go, but. . .
I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!
I braved up. I texted him that I had to address right here and now that we can't pick up where we left off, sexually, just in case it makes a difference to him.
Again, I am so proud of myself for this. It's not like me to be so brave, but I said what I needed to, and he was absolutely fine with that. And, then, I relaxed and actually got excited to see him again, where I otherwise would have stayed apprehensive and nervous until tomorrow.
It turns out that he's launching his own business and wants my opinion on a few things, as he knows I'm creative. I'm so stoked, now! And, I have to say, these fuckboys are doing awesome things for themselves, professionally. Derek is starting his own construction company in partnership with another, and Dan is opening his own restaurant (I think that's what it is). That's really awesome! If only they were keepers. Well, I'm prepared to give Dan a second chance as a romantic interest, as he's honestly been through a horrifying tragedy not very long ago that has likely scarred him for life, and as I know what that is to experience, I can relate to and forgive that, if it turns out that his flip-flopping with me was in relation to being screwed up from it. But, now I'm way overthinking this s**t. Main thing is, I'm seeing Dan tomorrow, with a relieved and relaxed mind, and more than that, I am so happy that I was brave and spoke up for myself! Like, really proud of myself. I hope it's okay to be this proud of myself.