It's hard to be a natural born weirdo and like yourself at the same time. No wonder life feels like a constant fight or struggle, because defensiveness is always heightened. No one is like you, so there is no one to back you or support you. No one to relate to you. Instead of feeling lonely or alone, which I know I truly am, I instead get indignant, angry. In my mind, I'm being attacked when I see myself clearly reflected in an unpopular or hated opinion. So, when I see a differing opinion to something I'm sensitive or feeling personal about, I instantly get annoyed or mad first, then attack, even if just in my own head while biting my tongue. I've controlled my behaviour about this, lately, but not my feelings. I'm not hateful, I just feel hated and hyper-defensive. It's simpler to just dismiss the entire human race as a piece of crap, every stranger an energy-sucking obstacle at best, if not an outright enemy. Eventually, you will be. Worst are those who put in the effort to win me over, convince me of thier likeablity enough for me to plunk into my life, just to be disappointed or rejected by them. That's the real offense: to feel the fake kinship and support from those who seem likeminded, just to eventually discover that it was all phoney, not real. Vile, vile human beings.