I'm not good at keeping in contact with people. Probably why I wasn't entirely open to cutting people out. I could speak perfectly fine with my friends in person, however it was never a habit for me to message them outside of school. My mentality back then was "it's fine I'll see them tomorrow at school". My group of friends had a group chat and we all did talk there. However it became apparent that everyone but me had private messages with the others. The only place I messaged in was the group chat.
To be completely honest this saddend me because I felt left out (childish, I know), but it was through their individual messages that they became closer. I was no longer the "go to" person for advice. They had each other. They had someone to speak their mind to when they didnt want too much attention. But who did I have? Yes, they were my friends. Friends I could trust. As a person who doesnt like to burden people with my own worries and loneliness I didn't know how to express myself. Perhaps thats why I felt so distant? I was too afraid to voice my thoughts. Because of this, the year after highschool I felt even lonelier. Starting university meant meeting new people, I was open to friendships, as minuscule as an interaction may have been I enjoyed it. But I noticed how little I talked to my highschool friend nowadays. How little we went out together. I feel sad.
Like I said earlier.
I'm not good at keeping in contact with people.
Not even my friends.