It’s summer, it’s meant to be the happiest time of the year and the time of year that I’ve always enjoyed, but I just feel flat and nothing seems exciting lately.
I feel anxious when I wake up in the morning, often with thoughts of my parents dying/having died in the night. I also have to crack my jaw every morning which may be linked to anxiety.
When I get to work I tend to feel anxious around 10:30. I can’t pinpoint the reason.
If I have to give a presentation at work I feel super anxious. If I have to have a one to one chat with someone, I’m constantly aware of myself and what I’m saying, and often slip up and feel like an idiot.
I often feel slight chest pain or pain in my heart and am paranoid that it will stop.
I feel exhausted when hanging out with most people; there’s only a few people who I can hang round with comfortably and be myself, and not feel like I have to be fun and entertaining (which I feel like I’m not being and feel like they’re having an awful time because of my terrible company).
Don't get me wrong, i'm not a loner - I'm actually a popular girl. But I do wonder why people want to hang out with me because I don't think I'm particularly fun or interesting.
I feel like the next step in life is marriage and then life gets boring. When I was 17 and loving my life I used to imagine going to amazing places or going to London with my friends and going to classy bars. I feel like at 22 this is what I should be doing but I’m constantly having these fears which are ruining these years of my life.