In this case, what I wanted is also what I needed. Aside from me moving back home, cutting hours from work was the next important change that needed to happen - the foundations for changing my life into NuLife. Without these two, what comes next for me would never happen.
Oh boy, this is exciting. NuLife is beginning NOW.
But, I still have to learn to prioritize.
Spending hours looking at replacement bicycles for my beater: a waste. I mean, it WON'T be a waste, but I've been without, and haven't rid my beater all year, and summer is essentially over. I have a bus pass to get around with. It'd be fun and handy and active - all great, granted - but, what I NEED is a car for when I move to PEI. So, I stopped looking up bikes and local bike shops. I was going to visit bike shops on Tuesday, but I'm going to write my driving test, instead.
There. Fixed it.
What I WANT is to be high for creativity, art, and depth of thought, both fun and work. What I NEED is to get healthy after all these years of using the stuff to keep clocked out of OldLife. I'm still not fully well since being sick, and since I haven't had any form of cannabis for two weeks and my mind feels no clearer, and body still tired, I need to focus on getting my sober self healthy. I never cared about my health much, before. That's because I had it, probably. But, I have noticed myself feeling age, lately. Steve and I went bowling, yesterday, with all the kiddies there for rock and bowl, and felt not so in my element while shaking my bum to the music. I felt the almost 40 that I am, soft and waggy, if not a little flappy or flabby, definitely flumpy. I'm not as big as I had been in the past, but I can feel the excesses, and in a younger and fitter crowd, felt pretty old and oafish. Not the superstar I am. I don't mind my age, which is lucky as I have no control over it, but I don't have to feel or look it. I can help this. So, instead of ordering a heap of cannabis that doesn't even do what I want it to anymore, I'm going to order some quality vitamins/supplements that a friend of mine recommended to me a year ago, change my diet, and get a Fit Pass to my local gym to join in on classes on my days off. I can be almost 40, but if I'm going to be a public figure and impress, I'm going to have to be a bit more physically fine-tuned than this.
What I WANT is a quick fix to this broken heart love thing, some instahusband for life. What I NEED is to be a fully developed and healed powerhouse for myself, to reconnect with humanity and adjust my attitude about people.
What I WANT is to go outside and play, today. What I NEED to do is nap and then do what I haven't yet done since being here: unpack.