I was meant to get away from my horrible hometown, full of bullies and make good friends and do a degree I love.I was meant to be happier but I'm not, it was meant to get better this year but it hasnt.My social anxiety has held me back.I have aquaintances, and about 2 fairly close friends.But now I'm worried ive fallen out with one of them, because she got upset that I was worried about living with her next year. I havent had a good time in the flat, due to a violent flatmate and other reasons.Me and my boyfriend were meant to go to uni togetherand be happy living with each other but weve had so many problems this year.I'm doing badly at my work for once, and ive gained weight so now I feel even worse than I did before about my looks.
I'm not happy when I'm at my hometown, I have hardly any friends there now due to the bullies.And I'm not happy at university either.Is there ever going to be somehwre I am happy? Am I ever going to be ok enough to have good friends and meet people without being anxious?
I'm ruining everything.I dont feel like I belong anywhere.I'm not happy anywhere.I dont want to be here and Ive been feeling like this for a very long time.Ive fet so suicidal, all year.Thing are not getting better.