University was meant to be a good new start

I was meant to get away from my horrible hometown, full of bullies and make good friends and do a degree I love.I was meant to be happier but I'm not, it was meant to get better this year but it hasnt.My social anxiety has held me back.I have aquaintances, and about 2 fairly close friends.But now I'm worried ive fallen out with one of them, because she got upset that I was worried about living with her next year. I havent had a good time in the flat, due to a violent flatmate and other reasons.Me and my boyfriend were meant to go to uni togetherand be happy living with each other but weve had so many problems this year.I'm doing badly at my work for once, and ive gained weight so now I feel even worse than I did before about my looks.
I'm not happy when I'm at my hometown, I have hardly any friends there now due to the bullies.And I'm not happy at university either.Is there ever going to be somehwre I am happy? Am I ever going to be ok enough to have good friends and meet people without being anxious?
I'm ruining everything.I dont feel like I belong anywhere.I'm not happy anywhere.I dont want to be here and Ive been feeling like this for a very long time.Ive fet so suicidal, all year.Thing are not getting better.
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anonymous user
You're not alone in these feelings there are a lot of people feeling similar things and struggling at university. Everyone has their own battle. But I think its a growing process, a lot of people think about suicide but you've got to get through this rough patch. You've got to get past your social anxiety. And I think its a horrible idea to get an appartment with friends. I've seen so many friendships get ruined over it . I'm staying in residence because at least its your own room and you don't have to put up with anyone's whining. Its good to have some space. You can get over this. You don't need a boyfriend or you should focus on having fun. Life is short. You need to completely start over sometimes. Be a new you and not have any ties to your old life. There are all kinds of people, and you will meet some nice people soon. Just have hope.
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safetynet
I know it's not one huge party but movies make out to be just that but it's not.
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TheLonelySoul
Dude college isn't one huge party. If anything it makes life more stressful.
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SlytherinAngel
actually suicide rates are high for college, everyone thinks it's going to be one big party and for some it is.
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TheLonelySoul