Unconvicted Of Unconvincing Inconveniences

Things need to be reciprocated. Thats the truth of it. I can't figure out whether they truly are. My intuition says no at times, but I sometimes feel like I doubt people who are trustworthy. There's a lot of factors. Maybe I should step back and let things happen. Let them fall into or out of place. I cant convince someone to reach for their goals. If they arent taking actions maybe it's because they have doubts. Sometimes I do too. No judgement. But someday I will run out of patience or stop caring. I'm close to that these days.

I cant help wondering why you feel love for me. I sometimes feel like it's not because you see any value in me other than what I give you. Im tired of being mother teresa. I love you but seriously what value do you see? "You're amazing you make me laugh I like spending time with you". Thats it? Generic adjectives. You dont see any value in me. Im not special to you other than for what i give to you that others dont.
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safetynetxo
Stop.

That right there is emotional blackmail and a very f*****g good reason as to exactly why you should stop any relationship.

Never give in to threats of self-inflicted harm and never allow them to dictate your actions. The minute someone says that s**t to you is the minute that you should call them on their bluff.

Either they'll back down and rapidly realise that sort of thing is never going to be OK, or they'll do it and there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU WILL EVER BE ABLE TO DO OR SAY TO STOP THEM.

It's a cold hearted way to deal with the situation, but believe me that it's the best way out of a whole fuckload of bad ways.
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Cynic
Thanks Mopy. It really helps to have outside perspective. Im hurting i guess. Maybe arrogantly, I am afraid that i will hurt this person and theyll hurt themselves permanently. Theyve told me they want to and im the only reason they havent. I also fear that im giving up something amazing and just don't "believe" them when they say they love me, that im the problem and expect too much.
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safetynetxo
Trust your instincts, as it is shocking how many untrustworthy people there are in this world, and devastating is how they can be the ones closest to you.

What you are experiencing are red flags. You know - without a doubt in your mind - what you want out of someone to both love and trust. I'm sure that you're quite specific. You likely know exactly the words you want to hear from someone that you intend to trust your heart with. Don't take anything less, or you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment (at the very least). I wouldn't trust those generic adjectives, either, although I once did and the results were catastrophic for me. Not just that, but in more recent times, I felt like I loved someone, yet couldn't really explain why, and I knew from that previous experience that it was because I didn't, just was highly infatuated. I proved myself right when less than two years later, I no longer felt that way.

I suppose, though, it depends on what you want from a love. If you don't care about permanence and aren't in it for the long haul, then I suppose it doesn't really matter. If you're looking for true love eternal, I would highly advise you to effing run!
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Mopy
Of course it was. I have good taste in music. Unlike some other people who used to listen to zouk.

Bleh.
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Cynic
Thanks for the kind words and the song, it was beautiful.

I dont want to own someone and I dont need words or I love yous. I never really wanted that. I just wanted someone to be affectionate without being asked and to have my feelings considered, to have my company wanted.
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safetynetxo
Oh it's a lot easier than that. Words aren't always the tool best suited to conveying complex concepts.

All you need to do is think about about what they do for you, or what do they do when you're around. When words fail, would they be able to let you know that they value your companionship?

https:/youtu.be/UrIiLvg58SY

At the end of the day, a person can love another without having to give a reason. If you are fishing for a reason for their loving you, ask yourself why? Is it because you are afraid that they will stop loving you and you want to be sure that you will be able to keep them tied to you?

A word to the wise. If you love someone, love them. If someone loves you, let them love you. And if the two happen to coincide, count yourself blessed.

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Cynic