I really have been sick and tired lately. Some of us still have jobs. Some of us still have classes to attend. Honestly though, that's not why I didn't come over last night in the end. Or the night before. You've put me through a lot of pain. A lot of waiting. A lot of tears. Without an explanation of what you want or what is going on. I was going to come over. I miss you and the kitty. I love you. Trust me, I had to literally make myself lay back down and put away my car keys. I know if I go over there it will just make the tears fall when I leave. The pain that has numbed me and made me so lost will be pulled from the back of my mind. And then I won't be able to pull off the front that I'm okay or it doesn't phase me. I'll break down again. It's like deja vu with you. So, I saved myself from blowing my cover for another night. I know it'll be blown tonight though. Why can't you just tell me you don't want me or want to see me. Make this heartbreak final. So.I can stop hoping for the best with you and finally just get over it. I know goodbye is coming but I can't go on like this. I can't just be dragged around like things are going to get back to normal