There's a lot of things I've wanted to say to you and just haven't been able to get out the words. There's things I want you to know. I've tried. I've tried a lot harder than you think. I've tried for you. I actually was going to let you in. I thought if I would be able to trust anyone it would be you. It went around and around in my mind. There's so much that you just can't understand because I haven't been able to explain it to you. I hate that things are the way they are. I don't think you care about me a fraction of what I care for you. If you do, it just doesn't seem to matter because we're both too scared. I simply can't trust anyone, as much as I want to. I've been thinking a lot and writing a lot trying to make sense of all the madness. A lot of it just doesn't make sense. The last thing I'd ever want is to hurt you. I never expected you to love me back, even if you ever did love me it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be able to feel it. It would be nothing but frustration for you. I just hope you remember what I said and remember that if you ever need a friend you know how to get a hold of me. If you ever did care, even a little, I just don't want you to worry. Things will be okay. I love you. I always have. I do think you know that. Don't give up on yourself because I think you are the most sweet, funny, caring, and most beautiful person I've ever met. You are capable of so much. I really think the world of you, and I hope you know that. All I want is for you to find your happiness, and know I'm there if and when you ever need me. I understand, so don't worry anymore. I can't be around this noise anymore. I just wanted to get this out of my system, and hope somehow, some way you'd read (somehow you’d understand) this and know that it's from me to you.