The Other Night

I thought I posted something important. I must have drank so much that I just closed all of my windows without saving.

Shit.

It was so intensely written, and it took me hours to write, I'm so disappointed. I've gotten over it by now.

Do you know:

I love you all. I know it may not seem so, some of the things I may write to you, but all in all, I love everyone, and think that everyone in this world has potential. I have such an open mind and such forgiveness, it almost makes me naive. I know I'm a harsh little critter when I write on this website sometimes, but if you'd just stick with me and see where I'm heading, you'd find yourself in a web of too much care.

I love too much,
but I'm too invisible for it to be reciprocated.

I know what you'll all say. Oh, you're not invisible. Oh, I see you. Oh, I know what you mean.

But, no. I'm sorry, but you don't. You don't have any idea what it is to be invisible. You may think you're invisible, but have you ever been in a public bathroom trying to wash your hands, and all motion-sensor appliances don't even work for you, because they can't sense you're there? THAT is what invisible is, and that's how invisible I am. I'm not even kidding. My iPod touch only works half of the time, because it can't register my touch. It's like I'm not even here.
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Mopy
Oh, no, Oli. I meant for the motion sensor thing to be just icing on the invisibility cake. That's not at all the whole deal. But, I just wrote that piece of self pity for no reason except that it occurred to me that these silly objects don't respond to me. I was drinking and Secrettalking again. :P

Yeah, even sober now, I still say that I do love everyone. Thanks for all the kind responses, and for letting me know that I'm not as invisible as I claim to be.
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Mopy
So? Your invisible to some inanitmate objects? (however that's spelled) what the fuck is that supposed to prove? Being invisible is being sat on by someone because they "didn't see you there" when your a freaking fat blob that nobody can miss. Like... Wtf?!
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Olivez
Aw, Mopy. c: You're such a sweetie! I'm sorry I poofed from my other secret. I had to take a bath and cleanse my mind. c:

And you are silly, ma'am! First off, I'm good, but I can be a rotten apple sometimes. I can get grumpy and when people talk to me I am kind of like ";-; *not registering*" And I can be insecure. And ask lots, I can get a little bitchy when people I love are in pain.

But you are very, very good. I wish you could see yourself like we do! The important people who matter will see you. And you're seen as probably best as most people can be seen on this site. I think too often people notice but sometimes they don't know if they should say anything or if they talk, will they make idiots of themselves trying to be helpful. But for my opinion, I say you are very noticed and very loved.

It's my experience (my rather limited experience since I'm only about 20) that people, like you, who love very hard and truly make the best companions, be they friends or lovers. But it can also hurt them in some ways because there are some people in this world, even if they do not mean to, will see that love and they'll just gravitate to it and cling to it. They sometimes don't realize they're not showing the person giving the love enough in return, even if they feel it. Does this make sense? There will be the greedy people who just want to take, and then the average people who are so not accustomed to seeing and feeling such true love and they'll kind of just...soak it up and forget to show love back.

But then there are the people who know how this feels. To feel invisible. To be skipped over, even though it's not your fault because you're definitely worth seeing. These are the people who know how it feels to love and love and then only to be rejected and ignored, no matter how hard they try. And these are the people that you will build strong friendships with. I've seen some on this site. c: Because you'll be able to share this miraculous love together. Also because they'll know how it feels to sometimes be skipped over and have their love focused on, not their person, they shall remember that and make sure they show all that they feel.

Sometimes it feels lonely. And for obvious reasons. :/ You care and then you don't know if there is anything coming from the one you care about. But I know there are definitely people out there who see you. I mean, seriously. c: If we, a little tiny corner of the internet can remember you and want to be close to you and none of us have met, imagine all those around you who will want Mopy very close. c: I hope this makes some sense. I am pretty sleepy.

My point is that it's definitely okay to be sad. I just hope you wake up in the morning and realize how rare a person you are. Don't lose that, okay? c: I love you a lot.
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brokendown
I read every post you post. I don't always comment, because I don't have much to say, but I read them, because I know that I can relate, sympathize, or I know that you'll make a point that probably needs to be made, if that makes sense. There are, on this site, exactly eight people who I respect wholeheartedly, even though I've never met them in real life, and you're one of them. I know that probably doesn't mean much, because I haven't really had an account with this site for very long.

BUT I definitely never would have described you as being invisible.

Oh, and those stupid motion activated sink things never work for me either. I use to have to brush my teeth and wash my face in bathrooms that had those, and . . . ugh, I hate them.
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whatsername
Who are you again?
Just kidding. We love you too mopy
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ToHellWithLogic
I love you, and I don't know what else to say. You scare me because you're so good. I shouldn't be on this website because you're so good and I am such an ass.


I can't say that I'm sorry, but I feel sorry that I'm not more like you.
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Mopy
;-; Well I'm going to say now anyway that I do see you. c: I know I wasn't supposed to, but I'm going with what I feel right now. 'Cause you're not even standing right in front of me and I wanted to read all you had to say. :D And to know you. I may not be a motion detector in the bathroom but I've talked to you some on this site for years and you have left a very big impression. :D I don't know how much that counts for, but that is how I feel.

I wish you could have saved what you wrote so I could read that too. I love seeing you post. It's not cause of the bunny either although I love it. You're just an interesting person who I think is very loving. And I can see I was right.

You can't be so invisible if someone who doesn't even know you can remember you from years past and enjoys your posts, and enjoys your person. c:

As for the trolls, I say it's because of conflict. People like to stir it up and even if they hate what's being said, they love to watch, or they can't stop. Like a train wreck. There have been nights I've posted something that I considered to be very meaningful and I got one comment (usually Martha because she stalks me :c) and then below me is a "I FUCK MAH COUSIN" gets 12. And I am annoyed.

Trolls won't be remembered though. You still are by the members who return and the members you speak to you and see you again after that. c:

And this is how I feel.
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brokendown
It's about quality, not quantity. Maybe some people don't really know what to say, or they feel they won't have anything good enough to say. Plus, some people are drawn to drama. So they probably reply to trolls because it's "fun" and they're bored :/
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PartyPoisonLove
Yeah, I'm so well received that Secrettalk trolls get more comments than I do. Whoopie!
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Mopy
Man, that sucks :/ But I'm glad you've gotten over it. You love evetyone on this site? That's such a kind thing to say c: As for being invisible, you really aren't. I've seen some of your posts. You have someome who sees you and loves you. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.

Btw, The motion senser paper dispensers don't register me either most times. Neither do the faucets. So I look like a fool trying out each one, waving at them c:
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PartyPoisonLove