I want a beautiful teenage girlfriend. I never had one, not even when I was a teenager. So it has always been something I secretly longed for in the back of my mind. Even when I grew up, and it stopped being "age appropriate," the same desire is still there. The desire for something I never had. But now it's not acceptable or proper and I'm made to feel like a creep for being attracted to girls who are younger than me. But I still find them alluring and exciting and the fascination remains. That will never change. Not now. I never grew up and developed like a normal human being. I'm still being held back by my unrequited wants and desires. It's a hopeless prison.