I have been approaching this stupidly. Simply, I didn't move here in the first place on my own, and never intended to. I would have never done it, if I were alone at that time. So, I'm not sure what made me think that once I was on my own, I'd have been able to keep it up alone? It was sort of doable when I was at my last job, but as soon as I got the job I have now, I knew it wasn't going to be survivable. Not on my own. I guess I was waiting to see if I'd get a side hustle. But, I just don't have time for that, and I've since decided that what I was looking to do on the side is just a little bit degrading for myself. I'm glad I've decided that. It's been easier lately to think a little more highly of myself. I'm thinking better and doing better for myself. And, the fact that I'm coming to terms with the reality of my situation and about to change it, is all part of that.
It's okay that what's happening is happening. It's amazing that I've sustained on my own as long as I have. But, the time has come to give 'er all up and fix my wee financial mess on a grand scale. Time to reverse the damages done to myself. I need no longer pointlessly struggle and suffer and hurt myself. I'm so lucky to have the resources I do to allow me to fix this. I don't really consider it a step backwards. It's just going to help me move ahead and much faster. I'll have less freedom in so many ways, but I'll gain freedom in ways that are going to be more important for me in the long-term.