Straight, but I've liked this ONE girl since high school

Ok, so, this is easiest if I just start from the beginning.My best friend, who I'd known since 3rd grade but had just become close to in 8th grade, came out at the end of middle school as a lesbian.I had no problem with it, and suddenly, I was questioning myself and developed a huge crush on my friend.That led to a long and complicated struggle within myself, and I openly experimented all through high school, including one significant same-sex relationship.

Throughout this whole process, I still liked my best friend, and she knew, but we managed to stay best friends.At first she just didn't feel the same, and I think she was worried I was just confused.But then I was dating someone, and at some point she realized how she felt.Bad timing I suppose, and the same scenario kept playing out- each of us was always either in a relationship, or on my side, just confused and not ok for a relationship.So we were always just friends on the verge of more, while we each just listened to each others problems, always there, giving advice, offering a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.

Eventually, the summer before college, I finally figured out that I wasn't bisexual or a lesbian- I know that when I look into my future, I will be married to a man and I am constantly checking out men.The best label I could give myself was straight, and conveniently, that fits best with my religious beliefs.This is my current thought, today at 20.

However- there is a caveat.I still wonder what could have happened with my best friend, especially since we just got back in touch lately.I can't help but think about doing things physically with her, though those feelings aren't as strong as my feeling of emotional attachment.I'm supposed to see her soon (first time in a while), and am not sure if I should tell her about my unresolved feelings, since we always dance around our past without talking too much about it.Not to mention, like it always was in high school, she's not really in a relationship, but she does think she has strong feelings for this girl (they were on the verge of getting together, but now the other girl is putting up distance).On the other hand, if I tell her, I don't know what I want, so I don't know if it would be worth it.What should I do, and are these feelings even worth dwelling on? Am I just dredging up the past because I'm about to be confronted by it?
Like
0
Report Abuse
girlconfused
telling her means that she'd be having second thoughts about the girl she wants to get involved and u r not 100% sure and u dun even want to stay in a realtionship with her.Dun do it,it will only mess up your friendship.
Like
0
Report Abuse
gul
Maybe your setting yourself up for another chance to possibly get close to your long time friend and crush. (maybe something might happen between you two).
Think if there are going to be any consequences, harming a long time friendship.
It would be wrong to get intimate with your friend if she thinks it's more than you just fulfilling a fantasy. There's no problem with discussing the situation with her and the intention to get closure.
Like
0
Report Abuse
Justwannahelp
Maybe you are misjudging these feelings. Or maybe you are bi. All I can say is go with your gut feeling. If you are feeling confused, set your feelings out in front of you and choose which one speaks to you the strongest. Then go with it. I hope this helps.
Like
0
Report Abuse
Aine