And, if it is, why does it have to be? What I mean to ask is why the hell can't I land myself better job? I'm honestly squandering my professional potential. I'm supposed to move up the ladder, not down. The music they were playing at that office today made me near tears because it reminded me of my licence office and how much I wish I were still there. But, do you know how much I didn't like working at that licence office and had to quit for a year due to a nervous breakdown? Do you know that I wailed my first few days or weeks at that licence office, too? I hated working, thought I could do better for myself, and ached to pursue my writing aspirations. Today, the exact same affect, wailing about thoughts of being better than a telesales agent, and aching to turn time back and be at my licence office again.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Do I hate working that much? Or, simply, are neither of these jobs good enough for me? Last week, this awesome career counsellor spent two full days building up my self-worth. She made me feel that I was easily worth working as admin at any company, even top ones in the city, but, here I am today, embarrassing last week's self at this telesales place (that may or may not be a job). She had my worth at around $16.00 per hour to start. Kind of an asshole thing now to be only able to maybe land a mere survival job at $11.00 with no security or perks besides crappy selling incentives.