I hate the way I fell for you.Not really, it’s not me that fell, it’s her.But isn’t she just an extension of who I am? Don’t I just use her to express emotions through which I cannot in other places? She is like another one of my barriers to keep myself at a distance from others.She lets me vent some other side of my personality, lets it breath just a little, fill its lungs just for a moment, so it can hold it in for a time.But you, you’re ruining her.You’re changing her into something I never intended her to be.A person.But how ridiculous is that.She’s just a front, no real substance.At least that’s what I thought before.Maybe you have fused us together in some way.Your stupid charm, which is obviously put on through some effort, it isn’t all natural which makes you kind of pathetic.And yet I’m jealous of you because you are able to do so.I want to be like that.So maybe you and I aren’t that different after all.Maybe you’re putting up a front to, to hide some part of yourself from others.Hm, maybe I should use her to explore this a little further, find out your weakness, your insecurities.Because that’s what I really want I think, to find the weakness and flaws in others so I don’t feel insecure myself.That’s why I judge people so harshly, even if they just walk by me once.I have some major problems with my self, I know.My identity, the truth, my insecurity.But is that okay? Maybe.But to bring it all back to the beginning, I haven’t fallen for you, she has, and she represents a side of me which I disconnect myself from.So I can feel the emotion, but it is separate somehow, different than me.I’ve divided myself.