I know, impossible request for me regarding. . . well, ANYTHING in life, especially those things that are all figured out, all in order, should be simple, sensical, reasonable, logical, systematic, straightforward, and smooth, that should have no reason not to go without a hitch.

But, this is me. This is my life that we're trying to do things with. So, simple never ever is allowed. Even so, my hands are flat together in prayer, my fingers crossed for luck, my hope in place.

Should be simple - give my month's notice next weekend, remind that first and last months rent was paid 11 years ago, I paid May's rent already, meaning I should not need to pay one cent more on rent for this last upcoming month of June. . . right? Stop me now, if I'm wrong. Makes perfect sense, right? Okay, okay, so we've established that I should be all good, right? But, just watch this turn into the battle of my life, somehow. Like everything is. . . always.

But, still, I hope and pray.

That would mean I finally get to breathe, again. For the frist time in about 8 years, I could truly breathe, again, financially. And, that as of this last paycheque, I am already SAVING money. This would be awesome! That means I'd get an extra month to play around here, as I aimed and worked to be moved out for this month, and I am nearly finished packing/moving all but the large furniture. So, June can be a bonus month here, to finally relax a bit and enjoy the fruits of my labour, to have two homes for a month, while I am moved elsewhere.

Well, that's what SHOULD be. This is how it works for everyone else in existence. But, for me, though I should be able to, I can't bank on any of this until I try to implement it. Some bullcrap always gets in my way, and the worst-case scenario is typically the one that wins out for me. I don't know how I'm going to react if my landlady tries to force next month's rent from me. I know that there are too many people involved (well, my mother and Derek, who are really quite alike) who will basically nag and have kittens if I am stuck paying for June, when I initially really wanted to be gone by April. May was okay. June? Unacceptable. But, I'm running about a half month behind, so I do need this place into June.

Please just let this work. Please just let it be okay. Let me fly under that radar for once. Let happiness and relief begin, and my new life of financial reset start.