I’m back up to 120 lbs and I feel disgusting. I’ve been much heavier and yet felt better about myself than this. What was done to me by the people I loved/love was even more disgusting than my stomach; loose as the skin is after giving life to the most gorgeous soul who left me too soon. Not one person has insulted my appearance as they did or belittled my accomplishments, lied to me and about me, embarrassed me, or called me nasty things, and yet those judgements are all I can hear. I had every right to the breakdowns I’ve had. I’ve lost more than most people would ever believe is possible and continued on for the sake of those whom I believed loved me. I know I need the weight and I’m doing as the doctors order in all aspects of my life as well as I can although I’ve never been great at doing it alone with no support. I can run to where support exists, but at the expense of my greatest desire for decades. A solid “screw off” to you who were my best friends and who abandoned me when I needed help the most