I absolutely loathe myself on days like today. Inconsistently speckled with good times, but ending horribly. I wish I could just disappear, to sort of make up for my being born in the first place.
Disappearing is really my favorite defense mechanism- every time there's a conflict in my life (in retrospect, this only happens after the exact same conflict that's been sadly consistent for years) and I've said my bit and been shot down, I do this weird nesting thing. I scurry away, clean up my stuff, gather my favorite things closest to me, curl up in my bed or a corner in a closet and do everything I can to make myself happy again, avoiding humanity and staying in a pathetic fetal position until the next morning.
You know, because I'm such a functional, ambitious person with a go-get-em attitude.