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Well ive been trying kill myslef for a very long time now ive tried pills drowning my slef and hold knife to my chest my life a reck I see everybody around happy liveing life like its nothing I feel like such fucking loser right now am falling apart am only 18 years of age I wanna be happy but life keep ticking I feel like just cralwing some were and die right now everything make my annoyed I feel like kill everyone around they come screaming and act like life is so good some people I live like to misery they get off at it it sad make me wanna cry right am just lost and don't have no one that really cares to talk to......my momment of life is comeing to close I can't live whit sorrow anymore I have so much secerts ive done some bad things in life and no one will ever know....i wish I could understand why life went life this I remmber being just child I never felt turely happy...like I was never meant to life in life is just not for me...my heart is just bleeding right now......if this my last momments here then I have to say that life is over rated you know and people are horribe and the world will see no light there is no Justices in this world good bye...and if I live an other day...ill still be dead inside
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unknowedpshhh
what ever has made u this upset i promise u its not worth killing urself theres probably a ton of better ways u can get over it! jst tryingg being with friends of making friends of even getting a bf! jst try to overcome this in another way! if u need anything tell me and ill try to help!
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dfghjklkjhgfds
Also,

no matter WHAT you've DONE that is SOOOO horrible...I mean...NO MATTER WHAT...God WILL offer FREE forgiveness to you UNLESS you've done what the phariseess did--lie on the power of the Holy SPirit by HATERfully lying on Jesus (they where jealous bcuz He was more popular with the people that they where...p.s. they liked to control the "little people" I guess you could say, even Jesus snapped on them talking about how they where hypocrites and liked to enhance their phylacteries, and be praised much by "the people")

N E WAY, no matter WHAT you've done, outside of that ONE unforgivable sin that I mentioned above (which, If I where a betting man, I could bet was NOT that sin...most folk don't even know about that sin)

BUT N E WAY, if you're a human being, then Jesus has paid the price for EVERY SIN--murder, molestation, lying, idol worship, homosexuality, etc.

You can be forgiven of HIM, and if other human beings don't forgive you, just know that, that is THEIR choice (not a good one though, we can't be forgiven if we don't forgive the ones that have trespassed against us--no stipulation to what that trespass could have been either...JESUS makes this CLEAR), but HUMANS do not have the power to send you to heaven or hell. THAT IS GOD'S pOWER, JeSUS's power ONLY.

So we have to deal with the hate from others (and if we can understand why they hate us, I think that's a good thing...being able to empathize with the folk who hate you could mean that you understand them and don't hate them for hating you).

JUST KNOW, that there is NO NEW THING UNDER THE SUN.

WHATEVER YOU'VE done, LOTS have done it before you, and unfortunately LOTS will do it after you.

But, please, you MUST know that you MUST do unto others as you would have desire to be done unto you, where you the victim of your crimes.

That means, you MUST go to the appropriate authorities (teachers, principles, the police, whomever can administer justice for the victim(s) of your crime), and YOU MUST, AFTER THAT, through those authorties, in the proper way, issue some sort of apology to the victim(s) or their loved ones, family,or if that's not possible (like they where an orphan, and they are deceased now, etc), issuse it in some way so that some others can benefit (even an open letter issused through the authorities would help SOME VICTIMS SOMEWHERE).

REMEMBER, you're not the first and prob not the last to do whatever you did. BUT, fight the fear to confes (the APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES WHO WILL Take the appropriate restitution actions), and pay the time for the crime, and KNOW THAT Jesus has ALREADY paid the HORRIBLE price for whatever you (and EVERYONE OF US HAs done/will do).

I will pray for your sake now!
it's good to be a failure at not being able to kill yourself.

I am not going to push n e thing down your throat to offend you. but death is a temptation, and know that, if you give into killing yourself, where you end up is going to worse than what you've EVER been through.

I know a lot of things about life that you don't...yet...only because I've had to learn some things in an attempt to escape the hell that I was in (am in...only I think it was worse when I was younger...I wouldn't go back...maybe not even if i could make different decisons).

I have nothing to gain but hope that you'll know. Somethings that don't seem real are. You look at yourself. Look at your vains, how even when you've been cut or bruised in the past, your flesh healed itself! I will not win an award from God. I am not like the people I know He's loved, more like the ones He ignores, or hates...because I can't seem to not be angry with liars...especially when the jig is up and they STILL get away with lying and damaging a person's reputation, alienating people from those that would have loved them.

N E WAY. I'm a blank hole, and I hate my existence, but if you kill yourself, I think you'll go to Hell. I'm PRETTY sure you would. I don't know God enough to know how He judges things.

But the ONLY reason I DON'T kill myself--take pills (I tried to once when I was little, a little younger than you, but it didn't work)--is because I KNOW I'd Go to hell because it was the last act I'd committed (the murder isn't a murder until you're dead), but if you cause yourself to die on purpose--even by trying to get someone else to kill you, you still caused your own death, and you won't be able to repent of a sin that is final.

Once you leave this earth, that's it, no do overs, unless it was just a near-death experience. I don't know anything about that from the Bible, but I do believe the folk who have had them (but I could be wrong).

My point is, please don't do it. Hell is SO bad that folk try to eat themselves to end their suffering (what I heard from a near death experince account on the tv once). God's words says CONSTANTLY that it's a place where their will be (where there IS) weeping and gnashing of teeth. One near death experince person said I think folk are clawing you and gnashing their teeth on you, not like they see you, it's just like the suffering is so intolerable.

YOU DO NOT want to experience that, NOTHING on earth is AS BAD AS HELL!!!! and EARTH's torments are WRETCHED ENOUGH! YOU'VE heard the stories!!!!

PLEASE DON't hurt yourself, or take things out on N E 1 else. God may love you VERY much, I don't know you, and even if I did, I wouldn't know that. If you're a human being though, I would bet that God probably loves you VERY VERY MUCH. And Satan KNOWS it would HURT God to kill you (aka get you to kill urself).

I hope U live, I guess. (if you are like, a person who tortures babies, then I wouldn't), but I doubt u do, so please just suffer like everyone else. Read the Bible, THE New Testament KIng James 1811 Version will show you what God wants. It may alleviate some of your pain. But you'll STILL suffer, BUT, if you end up following being a doer of Jesus's word, after you hear it (read it, in this case), then you WILL have a GREAT ETERNITY that will more than TRIPLE-FOLD make up for this crap-life now.

PLUS @ least you're only 18. You can go to college, tech school, university, or work Full Time for company and get in GREAT years of experience. PEOPLE LOVE 18 year olds--to give you an opportunity. also, if you need to move away from home, your age group has programs where you can live for free (job corps) be trained, and taught GREAT skills and get a SWEET paying job (this will end as SOON as you turn 24 I think)

SO, if Satan wants you 2 die, U're BETTER off living. You MUST be loved by God, if Satan wants you dead...He'd only want you to take ur life to hurt God, you know!