Not good enough

I just am not good enough nor will I ever be good enough for my mother.

Anything I do and anything I say.I can't do anything right, so you know what?

FUCK OFF mother! This is MY life NOT yours! I'm tired of you trying to tell me how to live it.
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anonymous user
Goodnight. And..... sure. Haha
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iLikeLollipops
Thanks Ana. I really do appreciate it bu I have 2 tests tmo morning Ive barely even begun to study for. So I bid you goodnight. Talk to you soon?
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anonymous user
Awwh.
Well.....
You have me(:
I'm not experiencing anything that you are,
but you can vent.
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iLikeLollipops
Ya don't get it. But thanks cynic.
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anonymous user
Yeah, but you also didn't face the fact that you are. Very. And so is she. Very.

And the same way that it colours your reactions, it colours hers. It always has. Consider that as a motivating factor, then figure out how to deal with it. And do so.

If I were a crackpot I'd tell you to figure out what the litany against fear is. But odds are you wouldn't get that bit either. You'd figure that it was important for the wrong reasons.
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Cynic
Ohie..... I'm sorry to hear that Oli :/

Um... I recently told somebody I'd stay quiet, but does this count? There was a post directed -at- me.... I think it should be safe to write about...
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iLikeLollipops
Thanks Ana. You just don't understand my mother. She's psycho normally and doesn't really care. Of course I have to be the one that does care and I get to be the one she targets and since she found out I've been trying to help her so much extra and she's just turned more cold towards me. I'm tired of trying.
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anonymous user
I never said I wasn't scared cynic. I am very scared. I'm also scared of what will become of my future.
I can't work 2 jobs more than full time plus school full time and keep getting honor roll. I can barely do it now with 30-35 hours a week.
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anonymous user
>.> Yea... I'm done.
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iLikeLollipops
iLikeLollipops, you should consider being quiet at this point in time. Consider it very seriously.
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Cynic
You left out two words: "I'm scared."

If you were to stop and think, you'd realise that that's something you have in common. Know that and you know a lot.
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Cynic
:D Hey Oli. Haha, I'm Anastasia, but people call me Ana.

I was bornn yesterday :D

And I don't think you mean it... your mom wants to protect you (I hope) and wants her baby girl to be safe, when she's gone. She has cancer, and doesn't want to take her treatments. She may not want to die, but I've had family go through them, and it is hell. She might have thought about that and didn't want that put on you or other members of your family.

Sometimes, a mom's psycho-ness is supposed to be good,but sometimes understood as bad.
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iLikeLollipops
I fucking GET IT cynic ok? I get it, I fucking do. That's why I'm so fucking pissed. Bc I want to be away from her but I dot want to lose her. She can die. She has cancer. She doesn't want to do he treatments.

I fucking get it. I'm not dumb. And I wasn't born yesterday.
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anonymous user
Everyone calls me Oli for short :) I'm a girl too. Lol
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anonymous user
Why would I need to know the full circumstances of your life to point out that you haven't realised yet that it IS your life and that nobody else has any say in it. Not even her.

Much better to not be pissed about it.


Want me to point out that you're not even really pissed about her trying to "control you"? Want me to point out that you're more than aware that life is too short for that shit, and that what you should worry more about is her NOT being there to tell you what to do?

I could, but unless you learn the lesson about it really being YOUR life first, that'd be almost pointless.
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Cynic
Ohh.... Okay... olive xD Dude, I love your name. haha
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iLikeLollipops
It's about me lolli. Not you. He's just an asshole lonely old man that hasn't got laid in a while. Ignore him.
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anonymous user
I'm confused... what's this about the tree thing?
There was something about it on my secret or story or whatever
and I have no idea what it's about..
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iLikeLollipops
Why don't you just piss off. You don't know my circumstances or my life so go fuck yourself. Ugh.
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anonymous user
If you'd really learned it, then they wouldn't be able to piss you off. Think about it.
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Cynic
Lolli... Your fine Hun :) thank you for helping.

And old man... I dot even know what your rambling on about. I did learnthe first time. This is MY life. And I'm living it. Are people not allowed to annou the piss out of me?
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anonymous user
Lol, mmkay :D
Sorry for not helping.
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iLikeLollipops
Oh, I know that. I also know that if you'd actually learned the first time, you wouldn't be ranting this time.


See this part?
=========
This is MY life NOT yours!
=========

It's true. Try learning it this time, so that I don't have to point it out again.
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Cynic
It's called RANTING old man. I'm sorry if I'm a little emotionally overloaded ATM. And if you have anything smart to say then go suck your fucking dick bc I don't give a fucking damn about YOU right now.

And lolli it's cool. I do make my own decisions. It's just idk. It's complicated but thank you.
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anonymous user
Well, if only that made sense.
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iLikeLollipops
Well, if you've told her already, why are you repeating yourself? Did you not learn the lesson that made you say it the first time?
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Cynic
OH. Dude, you sound like me. Except with the walking dead thing...

sorry about the girl thing, with the old man bit, I thought you were talking about me
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iLikeLollipops
I'm a girl.....
and that sucks that she won't listen.
Start trying to make your own decisions and
'forget' to tell her..?
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iLikeLollipops
It's not even that loli....

She's just fucking psycho to start with and NOTHING I do is good enough. I litterally look like the wking dead on a daily basis WITH make up bc I kill myself trying to work as much as possible and go to school and make honor roll and blah blah blah.
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anonymous user
Don't worry old man, I've already told her all this. However, she's as dense as a bag of bricks.
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anonymous user
That's true.
Why would you mom care if you did something wrong?
It was your choice, and if you jacked up,
it's your job to get yourself out of it.
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iLikeLollipops
You know, I'm kind of doubting that she visits this website. Just saying.
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Cynic