No confidence, despite popular belief.

I don't know who is listening, or who even cares but I feel I need to tell someone and I rather it not be someone I know, even though I admit my issues aren't as bad as others.

Most people see me as a confident guy: tall, dark haired, works at a surf shop and almost completed his uni degree.Makes friends really easily and able to get all his friends to laugh with jokes and is always amusing.

My biggest problem (among some of my deep seeded unsolved issues surrounding my parents divorce as a child which surfaced when I first started drinking at 18 and have since been re-repressed) is the fact that even though I seem to have all this confidence, I don't...

I don't know what to do and I feel so lost, I can't see my self good enough for a girl.It comes down to the point where even since I was a kid I couldn't take my own shirt off because of self image issues and since then have never been seen shirtless let alone a tank top.

I would definitely say I am not fat, yet I am still unhappy with the way I look and struggle with it.I am at my most self conscious when I meet a girl for the first time, and can not talk to girls at the clubs unless I am drinking (which helps my confidence greatly because I have no cares or stress).

So I have tried going to the gym to work on my body so I have more confidence but the effort doesn't reflect in results so I stop going for long periods of time.Basically I am posting for self closure and possibly advice, I just want to be more confident.
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I'll tell you something about me. It won't help you but it just another example.

I have always been super shy. Never really got anywhere with women and I don't see that trend ever changing until death.

Sorry I can't help you. You may be stuck in limbo like me.

All I can suggest is you that really got to try much harder or wind up like me. Don't wind up like me.
For pity sake don't.

If all else fails their are Russian Bride sites.

Though now I'm too poor for anything. I'm trapped until death.

I have resigned myself to a frame of mind of acceptance that allows me to live in a constant
state of happiness.

Since I accept and don't try in that area anymore I am happier . I have my job, food and a roof over my head.

It's enough.

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