Need advice please. Especially from the male perspective!

I am a recovering self-injurer/cutter.I have quite a few scars on my arms, wrists and thighs.I'm really scared to tell a guy that I'm dating or interested in what ive done.obviously they find out when we have sex or do stuff.but I want to let the guy know so its not a huge surprise.im just scared what he might think...how should I start the conversation? what if I cry..which I probably will because I still am very embarrassed, guilty and ashamed about it.I'm afraid a guy will think I'm troubled or alot of work, like I'm damaged...im scared that I might freak him out if I cant help but tear up a little.like he'll like I'm still a hot mess.lol.advice please?

like do guys get annoyed when girls cry?

please be honest! ! I wont take offense.if you think scars are a disgust tell me! like how would you react or feel if a girl you liked and were soon to be intimate with, told you about this?...and cried...
THANK YOU ALL <3
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danielmarie
Hey,

So a few things. I'm a 20 year old male, and I used to date this girl who used to cut all the time. Pretty much everyday. She was a mess, and it certainly didn't help when her mom died. There was also the time the condom broke and we thought she would get pregnant. We both freaked a bit. I saw her a few days later, and there were more scars than there were arms. It was terrifying, but we got through. She eventually slowly stopped cutting as much. I never once thought it was a 'turnoff'. It was just something she did as a means for dealing with shit situations. I never loved her any less because of it.
When aforementioned girl and I broke up, I was gutted. I then turned to cutting. I know not a lot of guys admit to doing it, and maybe a lot don't, but still, I know a fair ammount who have/do. And not for a means of attention either. I did all my cutting on my thighs where no one would see it. I used to cut up to literally 200 times a day, for days on end. It was ridiculous. I was cutting over cuts which were cut ontop of older cuts,. There were times I could hardly walk because it hurt so bad.
Every girl I've slept with since then has known about what I used to do to myself, and although, they don't approve, they don't hold it against me.
I think that if a person is really worth getting involved with, then they'll understand and accept you for the way you are and who you are.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If they can't take you for who you are, then they're not worth it and don't deserve your love.

You are who you are, and that's what matters most.

Cheers,

Tom
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TommyQ
thank you cheRRysss! ive posted this a few times and you have given me the best advice, thank you
awww omg he cried. i hope that a guy or anyone can feel my pain. A kind of frustrating part about cutting is that really no one understands. thats just really cool that you were able to completely open up to, you must have been close, like he must have really cared about you that he cried. :)

yes, i totally understand about being dependent. sometimes i feel like that. like i need someone to save me. or like i just want to desperately want to feel loved by a guy. and i think i confuse that with lust and sex. idk i dont completely understand it myself. but no, i dont have daddy issues which can be the case for some people. so idk why i want loved so badly by a guy...? or just feel wanted.
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danielmarie
Well im a girl.
I cut too.
and i told my boyfriend.
and i cried.
Welll he felt EXTREMLY sorry for me. he started crying to
he did think i was a hot mess. But i was at a bad place in my life.
Since your RECOVERING , he might not think your a pain in the ass.
I know i was, only because i would always be so emotional.
Dont lean on your boyfriend or be dependent on him
thats what annoys them

well no one can honestly tell you how your bf will react.
guys are different.
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CheRRysss