Well, what the heck does THAT mean? What does that smell like? Is that a bad thing? How do you know that you're not smelling sweaty Derek? This isn't the first time I've heard from a guy that everyone has a "smell". But, I've never known someone to have a specific smell. All I can ever smell that's specific and not perfume (n' co.), is b.o. morning breath, or stinky feet, and that never changes from one person to another. That all smells the same. Or, people who own dogs, but that all stinks the same, as all dogs that stink stink the same. I sometimes knew my ex from his breath that would often smell like cherry coke or something, but other than that, nothing distinctive.

At least I was able to sleep in his bed. I've been having a difficult time with that, lately. Might be a part of withdrawls, along with whatever "sweating" I'm doing, but that's apparently supposed to stink, and according to Derek, I don't smell bad, so. . . I dunno. Plus, dreams have been vivid, involved, or specific, and are usually bad dreams. It has been several weeks since I stopped. I never did end up jonesing out, being sober is okay. But, I am a bit worried that my brain is still foggy and forgetful. I don't know if that's even the weed or the mind still clocking out of this life. Am I just picking and choosing what to focus on and remember? If so, I'm being crazy rude. I'm forgetting details of what people say to me that are important to them. I'm still forgetting to remind Derek of things when he asks me to. But, being sober is just fine. I don't even like to drink, anymore, and though I would like to have some weed edibles for maybe every other weekend for creative and psychedelic recreational purposes, I sort of also want to continue on being sober for a long time, just to see if things improve or change the longer I go without. A part of me is proud, most of me doesn't care, all of me is broke anyways, so I really don't have much of a choice.