I've come to the conclusion that I'm anorexic..

Yet I have what would be considered a regular weight, maybe a little bit over for my height..so..am I still anorexic? I'm just wondering, if I am, and I ask for help, people will laugh at me.I am not stick thin.I have the body of what would be a normal girl, and I hate it, and the thought process of what seems to me, now, an anorexic.
Recently I've become more and more obsessed with my weight and losing it.I feel awful if I gain weight.When I was younger I was in ballet, and I was bigger than the other girls, however, I found, for my age and height them, I was the correct weight, but I quit because I kept getting picked on, even though I loved dancing.I think this is why I'm having problems later in life, but I don't know what would have triggered this.

Some days I've starved myself to the point of passing out; I've passed out a couple of times in the past four months.I'm eating about 500 calories a day and I skip lunch if I think it'll send me over 500... if I eat under 500 I .. congratulate myself? and allow myself to go slightly over 500 the next day, maybe by like.. 20 calories. My parents don't know, of course, about the lunch thing because I eat at school, and I don't eat breakfast, and I do exercise whenever I can.I punish myself if I eat a single item of food over 100 calories, because that's less for me to eat so I won't feel as full later, so I'm wasting calories.
Frankly I've been telling myself it's nothing, that I'm just on an extreme diet and I just need to be more careful, and that I couldn't possibly anorexic because, of course, I do not look it..but I just passed out, again, a few hours ago so I decided to look it up. I have anorexic friends and I try to help them; it's weird that i might be affected by the same thing, but I want THEM to be okay, because they have stick-thin bodies.. and I've seen them pass out before, and I remembered how often I've been passing out.
I got really scared by some of the stuff I saw online and I seemed to fit a lot of the symptoms, or so I feel.If I do have an eating disorder I want to get help.
I've struggled with self-harm long before this developed and thankfully, i haven't SI'ed for a few months now. I have a form of OCD called dermotillomania and borderline personality disorder; 6 people i'm very, very close to nearly died within the past 6 months and 3 were from attempted suicide, and my parents are also splitting up. These are some other reasons why I think I may have or be at risk for an eating disorder, but I really need someone else's opinion, preferably someone that's recovered from an eating disorder so i can have some insight at how at risk I am at... it sounds nuts but i've seen how this has effected people and i don't want that to happen to me. I am dead serious and I don't want to be judged.Please do not criticise me, because I've come on to this site before with things similar and someone told me not to joke, when I just started with this a few months ago.Please, just can I have some advice? And helpful advice.Telling me to just 'stop' won't exactly work, even though I know I should.
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anonymous user
i'll try to get help.. somehow.

i'm sorry if i seemed like.. 'wannarexic'. because i really don't. i'm sorry, this is what i was worried about, that i'd seem like i'm getting upset over nothing.. i'm sorry, please don't take any of this the wrong way.
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anonymous user
And yeah, I figured/
So maybe you shou;d get some help stopping, cause tryings obviously not working.
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Crxfmxhn
See this: "Leave your comments
Your Comments: "

Yeah, it means that I'm allowed to copy and paste that comment even on TLDR's.

Besides that's probably the best advice anyone ever gave your waannarexic ass.
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Cynic
PS~get new friends. They're not healthy to be around.
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Crxfmxhn
oh and that last comment was to cynic, not to crxfmxhn, sorry :)

i'm trying to stop, really, but if i see that i gained even a few ounces i get upset. it just makes me feel better, and i know it shouldn't. i would stop if i could see my weight on a scale and not feel as bad as i do when it's a number that i don't like.
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anonymous user
If you don't care then please don't comment.. even if it is to reply to this. i'm sorry, i didn't know how else to word that to sound polite, i'm not trying to be a jackass, i promise.. but i saw someone commented, and i thought maybe it was a comment that might help unconfuse me.. i didn't know the correct word.. i'm really sorry. i am craving attention, but not any attention. i'm not trying to be an attention whore. i just want someone to pay attention to the stuff i'm saying with the intent of helping me and giving me useful advice. i'm sorry if i upset you somehow, really, and i'm not trying to be a smartass, i just didn't know where to ask and then i found this.
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anonymous user
It's better to stop it before it starts.
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Crxfmxhn
Don't care, too many of these stories on this website already. If you said you did something that was useful, everyone would be so fucking amazed by seeing something new for a change, you'd get all the attention you're craving and then some.
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Cynic