There are currently so many things I hate about myself right now. Some days I wake up feeling like absolute s**t. Other days I feel great but then I remind myself that it's just temporary happiness. I know I'm gonna end up alone. I'm gonna have a huge house, money, the latest collection of clothes but noone. I know. But I love being surrounded. I like having friends. And I would love having that someone special.
But that's never gonna happen. Everyday I wonder whether dying would actually reset my whole life. Maybe I'll have a second chance at life. Maybe I'll be more beautiful, intelligent, funny and lovable. And maybe as a new person, I'll be more desired by people. So why keep pushing the date. What if it works? I shouldn't be wasting time posting this. I should be out there trying to kill myself.
I have reached a really low point today. And all I can hear is "You're gonna end up alone. Your life is meaningless. Why bother?"
Should I listen to that voice? Is it GAME OVER for me? Time to respawn?