so im not really sure how to start this..
theres so much i wanna say.. im so tired of everything.. i cant take this anymore. im tried of cheating on my boyfriend im sooo sorry. i dont mean it. i really do love you. but we fight so much and you make me feel so low about myself when you say those things to me. you dont understand how it effects me. i have been cutting still but i cant tell you.. last time you said you would leave me if i did it again so i have not told you.. i cant stop when everything is so fucked up. i want you to be there for me and talk to me. i dont understand how we can be so perfect together when we dont fight but when we do its like you can make me feel worthless.

i overdoesed again baby.. i could not take it.. i have not told you.. it fucked up my insides.. and it hurts.. i think its going away but still. i wanna tell you.. im sorry
im still smokeing weed. its the only thing that makes me happy when we are not fighting. i think its one of the only things keeping me here sometimes.
you wanted me to stop someing but i cant. not untill everything else is better.
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mom..
why the fuck do you this!! i help you out so fucking much! everything fucking time your in the hosptail sick i help you. im there for you.. but then you turn around and make me feel as if im nothing and i never will be good enough for you. why the fuck dont you love me for me!?! im sorry i cant be Little Miss Perfect. AND IM NEVER GOING TO BE! so get over it. you wanted my damn grade up and now im getting all A's B's & C's.
what more can i do!?
you want me to break up with him? i cant im sorry. i love him to much. yeah we fight and he makes me cry but i love him to much to leave him.. please unerstand that..