I purged for the first time today. I was really upset and had shut myself up in the bathroom crying. Out of nowhere, it just seemed like a good idea to purge. I took a disposable razor and shoved the handle down my throat. It was weird - vomiting had a really calming effect. I stopped crying almost immediately and felt a lot better about myself and the situation that had upset me in the first place.
I know purging is wrong, that it's the road to full-on bulimia, but still...it made me feel so much better.
I want to purge again right now, but everybody's home and I know I can't deal with another "talk" about how I'm a fuck up and can't do anything right.