I'm not sure how I should feel about this...

I purged for the first time today. I was really upset and had shut myself up in the bathroom crying. Out of nowhere, it just seemed like a good idea to purge. I took a disposable razor and shoved the handle down my throat. It was weird - vomiting had a really calming effect. I stopped crying almost immediately and felt a lot better about myself and the situation that had upset me in the first place.

I know purging is wrong, that it's the road to full-on bulimia, but still...it made me feel so much better.

I want to purge again right now, but everybody's home and I know I can't deal with another "talk" about how I'm a fuck up and can't do anything right.
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sarita15
Purging is such a bad idea.. it is so addictive. It gets people hooked after the first time, just like a really addictive drug. Please try not to purge anymore. Try other things to get a good feeling, dancing, singing, running around like an idiot (no really!!), curling up with a puppy, talking to friends, playing a game.. There are SO many better ways to get relief! Purging will eventually become the opposite of a relief, but you will find yourself still going back to it, even though you aren't getting that relief from it anymore.
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flyinghigh
I purge a bit. I'm not saying its good or anything. I think you should try and stay away from it....I realize how hypocritical that sounds but trust me. Its hard to quit. So just take my work K?
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WatchMeFalling
I've considered it sooooo many times :( never done it tho
I feel the pain you felt... its okay to hurt... its okay to make mistakes

(i'm not condoning it... but i'm not your mother and i'm not one to talk)

take care of yourself... i know life gets so fucked up sometimes
xoxo
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Masquerade
You should come up with other ways to cope with out self harm. :) Life can be a rose bush it has it's thorns, and yet if you just open your eyes and see pass the thorns you can see the beautiful roses. Try listening to music. Exercising is good. Dance your heart out until you find yourself laughing and out of breath. Develop a hobby that you can look back on and see what you can accomplish. Hope I helped. :)
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Sweeeet