That, and I've lost all feeling. I just watched something that used to stir and emotionally move me so to tears, and I didn't feel anything except very upset at not feeling anything.
I can't even write properly, anymore.
Someone asked me to tell him about myself, last night, and honestly I just sat there, moronically silent, tripping over every word coming out of my mouth, trying to even remember my name. It was really embarrassing and so very stupid. I can't even think of anything to say about myself. Plus, I don't want to catch someone up. It's so tedious to even say one word about myself, and I don't know where to start. Do you know how much of a waste of effort it is to try and catch someone up for years upon years without it even mattering in the end? I just don't want to go through the effort, again. I just want someone to come already knowing it all and simply continue, because I just don't have enough life left to waste explaining everything, anything, if I can help it, or worse, if I can even remember it.
It's not just that. I tune everything out and I have no common sense. I don't retain information that has more than one component to it. Someone asks me a question, then I go find another person to give them the answer, because I mix up who asked me. I hear nothing going on around me unless I stop everything I'm doing and decide to turn on my ears. I don't remember what I just said. I repeat myself constantly, actions and words. I can spend a half hour checking and re-checking my finished work, then still get it wrong. I get stunned for what seems like minutes or seconds, but it's hours.
Something has become very wrong with me, very quickly, and I don't know what or why. I hope it's only some sort of exhaustion, because this feels absolutely insane.