I'm Twelve And I Self-Harm

It started a few months ago. I unscrewed a pencil sharpener and cut my thighs and calves. Since then I became suicidal and unhappy with my body. Cutting myself, for me, releases built up emotional tension. My mom and my counselor know about it, but I'm getting a new one soon and I'm beyond anxious. If I try to be open about my feelings and experiences I just cry. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have advice on how to open up or how to just not care?
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anonymous user
Do not despair, you are beautiful and wonderful and are valued beyond what you can imagine. I have a daughter who went through a period of cutting as a way of dealing with things she felt like she had no control over, like finding out she had a gay dad and being unhappy (at the time) with her body. Is okay to cry (you are not alone) for the world is definitely full of hardship, confusion and sadness, but I can tell you from experience and so can my daughter, that it also holds love, acceptance and joy that is yours to claim! Emotion (when handled correctly) is not a bad thing and is okay to release it (again, in an appropriate manner) and explore it as it has the potential to reveal to you and your counselor and your parents what is really your source of hurt and disappointment so you can heal from it and remove or change the source of hurt. Maybe a question for your new counselor is how do I discover what my emotions are trying to tell me? I love you and am praying for you, my precious friend! Let me know how you are if you feel up to it.
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dgt
I’m Haley and I’m 12 also I also had problems with cutting myself and I wanted to die but the main thing that made me stop was to think about my family yes some people in my family hate me but my mom loves me and she would just die to loose another kid so just think about the people you care about I know it might not stop you from thinking about it I do very often but when I remember all the good things I don’t cut. If you ever need someone your age to talk to I’m here for you I hope you get better
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Haley0945
Log it in a notebook
Log what made you do it
For how long
And how did u feel after
Rate the feeling on a 1-10 scale.
Write at least Two sentences on ur day one good and one bad .
then when u do meet ur new counselor you can show them ur triggers
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Motivated247
Hi, first off, ignore negative comments such as the first one your post received.

So, it's a shame your counselor had to change, that's tough but it could end up a really great one, so, hope it works out.

As far as opening up, wow, it was really strong of you to open up to your prior counselor, and to think of doing that again is a drag especially if you feel you'll be 'saying the same thing all over again'. But, I've had to start over with new counselors/therapists, and I found it helpful to let them know: "Listen, I went all over this with the person before you and I don't want to just say the same stuff. Can you ask me different questions to find a new way of getting at all this?"

Also, when I battled/battle opening up, sometimes I've flipped over to saying pretend stuff, to skirt around the real stuff. They don't know the difference, and it saves having to deal with whatever you're avoiding. I get it. I understand, totally. I will say, however, that some reaaaaally important stuff that I'd spent my whole life ignoring finally got dealt with by my NOT hiding from it -- and I seriously was able to change how I felt and acted, it was that basic a deal. Just imagine, instead of feeling all that dread -- dread of having to remember it, dread of talking about it, dread of imagining how the listener will react -- you really do feel lighter and more free. It's ok if it takes you years and years to get around to dealing with these things, but I recommend getting to it sooner rather than later.

[[hugs]]
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TammyT
The best advice is to just stop doing stupid things.

That holds true for everyone and every situation.
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Cynic