I'm In Iraq

I've killed five people and I can't remember the last time I've got a full nights sleep. It's harder and harder to talk to my wife every day. I can't feel anything anymore, and I'm worried I'm becoming some kind of monster. I'm not a coward, I just don't want to kill anybody anymore.
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anonymous user
Are you a soldier? Just remember, your doing this for your country. For your family. And lots of people (soldiers?) probably go through this. Be strong.
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Saddened
it's a dark feeling that will never leave you. a deep well, silent and empty. nothing else really matters, people's problems seem insignificant. someone who talks about their deepest tragedies mean nothing, "oh, your dad's dead, that sucks I guess." small fits of anger arise I bet, I know it has for me and every day is a struggle to act like a normal person - smiling and feigning sincerity as I talk about how crappy my day has been because my iphone isn't working properly, all the while I think about staying at home in bed so no one discovers how I'm really feeling. How about when someone asks "how are you doing?" and you have to fight the feeling to just unload your true self on them. instead, you respond with "everything is great" and you lose yourself just a little bit more because you have to lie about something so minuscule. If you feel like that at all, I get it, you are not alone. Can you tell me more? I found it feels a bit better (for a time) to talk about it, every detail. It helps me hearing other people talk about it. I won't judge and I won't say dumb things like "you know what you should do?". You're not asking for advice, so I won't give you any, so at the very least, I'll be here to listen. hopefully everyone else here will too.
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JesusChrist