I'm Almost Gone

But, the corners that I haven't touched in this apartment are jammed packed with. . . stuff. Stuff to sort through, stuff to separate, and at this late stage, the stuff is starting to hurt me. I have toggled between just throwing out everything I see, to hoarding everything, to being completely confused as to what to do. I've been extremely generous, I've been vindictive. I've been angry, I've been soft, I've felt hateful, I've felt loving.

Today, I just hit a certain amount of his/our, that I just couldn't help but collapse in more grief and heartbreak. All the investment I put in with my years and heart, just to have it have been all for nought, is an enoromous life fail. Not one that is easily walked away from, not a pill one likely ever fully swallows. I worked though it, as I allowed myself to collaspse, but I didn't get today's goal all the way done. Just too strained. Did okay. Almost there, almost gone, but these last fücking corners are killing me.
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Mopy
When I am not meeting a goal I previously set for myself because life gets too overwhelming I just tell myself now, “it’s time to adjust that goal so I can survive this bull intact.” If you need to collapse sometimes, it’s okay. Keep doing your best for YOU.
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URQ