I can't talk.I'm all alone.I've been fighting to get better for ages but I can't.If anything I have lost ground, becoming more shy, more isolated.Sometimes it feels like I don't even remember how to converse anymore (as if I ever knew), and I censor myself so so much around even my closest friends.

I am failing at life...finding a better job, getting studying done, forget it! what I do accomplish isn't done well.I'm fat, out of shape, not morbidly but I need to change it and it doesn't get done.i'm pathetic.

I'm afraid that I might be sick.Just small symptoms that may not even mean anything, but I'm scared.Like I have so many sun spots, and some don't look nice...seem static at least but I worry.Random pain sometimes, lightheadedness sometimes.Spotting between periods, and no it's not because of the pill (not on it).My teeth I know are bad, I am 18 with periodontitis, which is basically gingivitis up a level...when it's no longer just temporary damage.A couple of my teeth are cracked, too.I'm not asking for diagnosis.I just sometimes feel like my body might be failing me already.


I just feel so broken.If I was a car I would be dead, totaled, I'm not worth fixing.Hell if I was an animal I'd probably be put to sleep.
But instead I'm a human, and I do have a little bit of will to live left...it's just severly bruised and I wouldn't fight too hard if there was an attempt on my life.