I hate myself, I cannot stop crying, I want to die

I am a 41 year old loser.All the chances in the world - Ivy league education, good inheritence from parents, and I blew it all.I am fat -100pounds overweight, broke , in debt, and cannot seem to get my law practice up and running.

I am seeing awful guy who I know lies, has just had "old" (but I think current girlfriend) give birth in Mississippi, treats me mean between treating me nice.I am too weak to "break up" with him -like he would care.

Borrorwed money from ALL my friends, work as waitress to keep things minorly afloat.Stupid, old, and a waste.

Tried wellbutrion - cried even more.I am worthless.I do think about killing myself alot.I don't know what to do
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larajane
you're a lawyer and you type like that?
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fellowcraft
It sounds like you need some self discipline and motivation. Trust me, I know it's extremely hard to change your lifestyle once you've been so far down for so long.

Stop worrying about what you did or didn't do with your inheritance. Stop worrying about what you did or didn't do at the gym. You have what most people would do anything for: a killer education. That education is what can change your life. You're a LAWYER! So what if you can't open your own practice right now? Get a job at a firm and get a decent salary and build your life from there. THEN, maybe, you can open your own practice. It IS possible to repair your credit, or even file for bankruptcy (Filing for bankruptcy looks bad for several years, I know, but it eventually goes away). If that is not an option, then you need to start paying off your loans, bills, and taxes and mend your credit before it's too late. There are many services and agencies that can help you, just look around.

Nothing is going to change until you buck up and make changes. If you're not happy with yourself, you can't expect anyone else to be happy with you. You're in your forties- it's not like you're some 18-year-old lost in the shuffle type. You're a responsible adult who has the power to make your life everything you want it to be.

Oh, and dump the cunt of a boyfriend. Really. You'll feel ten times better.

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Glass
I'm really sorry you're going through all this. First, I think you should dump your boyfriend. Second, you should get another job, anything, to keep things afloat even more. Then you got to make a plan on how to get out of debt. It's your life and it is worth a fight. It's time to stand up on your own two feet. It's an opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do it. Don't kill yourself. We will all die in the end anyways. Don't die without knowing you beat life at its own game. Just stop blaming yourself for the past.
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safetynet0