I hate life

I am lost...I dunno who I am anymore...I have a son, he is autistic..My life is work, work, work, diapers, diapers, diapers and a husband that mostof the time, we cant stand to be with each other.You know, must moms can think that one day day can go travel, have a quiet day at home, spend the day having fun, but not me..This will be my life forever....I love my son, I really do, more then anything and it really hurts me that I have a 6 year old and I have never being called mom, I have never heard my son's voice..Or even a hug...I dreamed all my life about the perfect lie and I didnt get any of it.Financial problems, self esteem issues, bad choices in life...Sometimes I wish the building woul just cramble down and we would all go together...When I am home all I hear is screamings , none stop...Then I think: I didnt do anything to deserve all this...

I am on my early 30's and I feel old, really old...

Too much sadness on me...I wish someone could help, but no one can...

I heard that you only get the weight you can care on your shoulders, but I dont believe it...The only reason I havent gone mad is because there is no one to pick me up from the floor..I am alone...

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pichana
hold on. hold on for hope hold on for faith it seems hard but you can perserver. no one said life was going to be easy and your never as alone as you think because there is always someone caring. thank you for reminding me of my decesions... i had to make mine at a much younger age than you... lead a path that will make you happy if your not then change it because life shouldnt be so glum thats what death is for. know that for everyday you perserver is another promised tomorrow.... take care
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lifeinthedark
You need to talk to someone, like a professional. Okay?
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simplyanonymous