Tonight, while Santa is traveling around the world and giving all the Christians their gifts, I decided to sneak over to his place out in the North Pole and schtupp Mrs. Claus. She told me it really turns her on when I call her a "ho ho ho." She swallowed my candy cane whole and my balls started shaking like a bowl full of jelly. I made love to her really hard and then covered her in my warm white snowflakes. Rudolph also joined in on the fun and f****d me up the a*s. Please don't tell Santa I've been naughty this year because I wanted a hula hoop.