I Get It

For many of my younger years I would say that addicts and people who commit suicide were weak. Again, my younger years and not really understanding the pain and hardships (some joys) of life). Now I've been here for a bit (not giving my age away) and I get it. I just do. For addicts it's it's always about that escape and the escape after that. Dulling the pain of reality for as long as externally possible. At some point, no high can ever make it as good as the "first." At some point you have to deal and figure it out and decide what you want to do. It really is a choice.

Suicide. That's a different calling. Yes, some people call it quits way to young over some perceived social slight, but since they have no real frame of reference to life, they just blow it. This is not talking about the ones who have been abused, that is a different arena. A level of pain that takes a "make or break it" attitude. Depending on how deep the damage, it may be too much to make it back. Too be honest, I've thought about it myself. Just ending it all. Just saying the hell with it and just getting off of this place called earth. I feel there is nothing left for me here and I no longer see the beauty that once was or the "light at the end of the tunnel." I have family and that keeps me from doing it. At the very least it keeps me from faking my death and just disappearing. Not sure how long that will be enough. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I'm almost tired of fighting.sleeping has to be medically induced. It's the only way I can sleep. Without it I go into dark areas. Thanks.
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Why2018
Ever read any Plato? He was of the belief that we're all born knowing the answers and that we only need to think about it to figure things out.

If you believed something as a child, chances are that you may have been more correct then than now. Of course Locke had different ideas.

You should spend some time getting to know what they said.
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Cynic