I'm not drunk. I don't have to be drunk to feel regret and pain. In fact, I only feel this way when I'm sober and alone. Lots of thoughts come to me in the dead of night. I have to write them down before the insanity overwhelms my brain. I need to purge myself of these awful demons, but they are a constant stream of negativity and it's impossible for my fingertips to keep up with my head.

I think about my life and everything I've done and haven't done. Everything I've tried (I've tried so much) and how many times I've failed. Then I see other people succeed without even trying. Life isn't fair and only certain people get to be happy.

I'll never have anything because I'm ugly and fat. It always comes down to this indisputable fact. The only important thing in this world is being attractive. I don't want to be this way. I have no choice in the matter. This has always been my reality.

I'm just talking to the walls here. No one cares about me. I never made an impact on anyone. I'm just a f*****g waste of space. I'll be forgotten the moment I'm gone. And nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares.