I accept that I am a pedophile, should I kill myself?

Today I admit that I am only attracted to children between the ages of mostly 5-13. I have never touched a child or in any way acted on these sexual urges! I would sooner kill myself then hurt a child.I am in a "normal familly" with a normal job, a younger brother and sister, and parents.I was never abused as a child, and certainly never have even once chose my sexual orientation.I don't like women my own age, they gross me out.And I'm certainly not gay.I simply have to live in constant disgust off the fact that I will always be attracted to kids on a very basic level.I normally avoid kids as much as I can in life.Not because of there ever being a chance that I would "give in" which I believe is a bunch of crap that only a VERY weak "man"? could use to explain him actually hurting a child. No, I avoid them because of the feeling of disgust and self loathing that boil up in me when I realize what a disgusting thing I am. I mean, what options do I really have for getting help? There is no cure for pedophiles just as there's no cure for being gay. I have no option for receiving therapy without taking a risk of being identified as a "threat" to children and having everyone I love find out about me that way.Which is really sad, considering I know that for every 100 people out there who are in the same boat as me, one man with weak morals and bad self control that will snap under the constant preasure and somehow allow himself to give in to his urges.There is no Preventive Action taken to this issue, and it sacrifices children every day.I realize that society wants to "burn me at a stake" just for being what I am.But don't you think that if there were a way for pedophiles to get some kind of help there would be a lot less child molesters in this country/world.(I live in America).Do you Hounestly expect for people who are attracted to children would throw themselves out there to be torched and staked when they started having these thoughts? (for my purposes in this article, child molester = actually hurt a child, pedophile= attracted to children
But has done nothing wrong)So anyway back to me on a personal level, what are my options? I can either kill myself without leaving a note one day(which I am totally at the point off doing) Or I can continue along this path off constantly battling my sexual urges with celibacy and disgust.I'm choosing the latter option for now do to my familly.But how long will I be able to follow though with this? Not forever.I will eventually end my life.Maybe at that point I will find relief from my struggle.If there is any reliese in death( fingers crossed). This is the first time I have ever admitted this to anyone for obvious reasons. I don't even understand why I felt the need to post this here, closure? I seriously doubt anyone will read through my title and not jump into me like a vicious dog anyway.But if there is anyone who sympathizes with my condition as a pedophile, then thank you .
Like
0
Report Abuse
anonymous user
Hello. I know how you feel. I was molested when I was 7 and it lasted for a year. The psychological impact of that destroyed my life. It turned me into been attracted to little boys 7-11 years old. I never molested a child, I battle my entire life with this, (I'm 33 now), I manage to hide it for all this time until my mother figured it out because I had been hanging out with a little boy for about 2 years, and for some other incidents that involved preteen boys. I never touched him and was be able to control myself. Now that she knows, my brothers know, a couple of people suspect about me, I have nothing to hide, and so it gave me the freedom to justify my suicide. After so many years of battling myself I will finally be free of this. I will stop feeling disgusted at myself and will contempt with whatever comes next if there is a next.
Like
0
Report Abuse
dasssdss
Everything will be okay...just keep the faith. It's okay to speak to a psychologist about this, everything you say is strictly confidential. You never know what may be wrong with you, if you don't know it then its time for someone to show you what may be the issue...don't lose hope and do not kill yourself. Life will have its up and downs you just have to remain strong and get the help and peace of mind that you deserve.
Like
0
Report Abuse
TheSecret