At the end of the day I'm alone. I'm alone from sunrise to sunset. I'm alone from dusk till dawn. I'm alone despite your presence next to mine. Alone despite the laughter we share. I am still alone despite all the bonding and forewarning of broken hearts and broken dreams. I'm alone in bed. I'm alone right now—as I should be lest I place my burden on you all. I'm alone despite mothers hugs and mothers tears. Even with grandmother I'm alone. I'm alone in the street and I'm alone when we meet. I'm alone with company in my hand and laughter in my ears. I'm alone watching you not be alone. I'm watching you laugh and the twinkle in your eyes pierce my heart with the knowledge of people, things, everything I can’t have. Alone with eyes trailing his hand as it brushes against your skin. Along with things unsaid and feelings stomped upon. And yet I laugh. I laugh till I cry. I laugh till the throbbing in my chest eases up—just enough to breathe and pretend I don’t feel like I'm suffocating. I'm alone when I'm not alone and I laugh and laugh and laugh till I can’t stop feeling. I laugh because you want me to laugh. You want me to play along in the game. You listen but leave me feeling hollow, not relieved. Watching, watching, watching them fall tumbling down in your web until I feel as if I'm better off alone. And aren’t I? One such as myself, dark and lonely, should stick with the knowledge that my laughter will be my only company. Even when I cant laugh anymore.