I had to stop you in the middle of your ramming me again, last night. So not hot. So effing stupid. You're going to want to talk about this, soon, or do something about it, and I can't feel anything but criticism, insults, or snideness in regards to what will come out of my mouth when you want real answers. Really, what more IS there to offer you? What else can be offered to someone who has been so sexually selfish for the past 2 years that he doesn't know, didn't ever care to get to know, even one thing that turns me on enough to salvage it when the eager giver ceases to be eager and only reluctantly gives? It's nothing but despicable, and nothing but anything despicable could be said about it.
I wish you had just let me end this sex thing when I wanted to. No, that's not what I wish. I'm not going to get even the minimum of what I had wished, and I never was.
I love Halloween, but this is the first time in 10 years that the apartment is devoid of decor, that the heart isn't into it. I'm bummed right out. I'd rather stay here all day off long, roast my pumpkins, make the soup, roast seeds, make beet salad, make apple crisp, clean and pump some Halloween-y tunes or movies while doing so. But, I'll be on a bus at 3pm to your place, to *yawn* hand out candy at your theme-less, spiritless, boring house.
I'm beyond the end of this rope, now holding on by an unravelling fray. I don't think you could reel me back, even if you tried your utmost. Even if you were to tell me that you were in love with me, wish to be with me, are willing to move this to a real level. . . the reaction from me would be more criticizing. Can't trust you as far as throw you, could try, but would never truly ignore the fact that, even if you came 100% honest, clean, and disclosing from here on in, that I've lived these past 2+ years being lied to and concealed from whatever you choose. And, unfortunately, I don't believe in much forgiving, second chances, and ignoring screaming red flags, anymore. And, that's just only one deal breaker that you've engaged in. But, none of that will happen. You'll just stop wanting me over all the time and take up with someone else.