Help me

There's so much wrong.I don't know where to go for help and I don't know what to do.Everything feels f*cked up and I can't go anywhere for help or he will find out.I need someone to talk to...
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thisisme06
@safetynet - I'm not in the safest environment... but it's also not massively dangerous. He is my boyfriend and he is very controlling. He has issues with me talking to anyone and he will search for me on the internet to try to find out what I've been saying. I have to be careful who I talk to, what I say, and where I say it or he will get angry. The issue has ended up cutting me off from a lot of people. Cops or social services won't be a lot of help here. I'm not leaving him. It's more than that though.

@Brittani95 - There's a lot of things wrong. Superficially, my teeth are messed up from when I was pregnant and had mono (getting sick wore away at my enamel and gave me cavities) but I'm a single mom and a college student with no insurance so I can't afford to fix them. I'm scared that if I keep putting it off they won't be fixable soon. I'm worried about money all the time. I have savings and scholarships that I'm living off of until I graduate in may, but money is getting smaller and I am trying to make it stretch, but it's hard. I'm afraid I'll run out or I won't be able to get a job right away after school and I'll end up trapped and unable to support me and my child. I'm trying to lean up my finances, but it's hard because I'm not the only one in control. I live with my bf and he is trying to save money so that he will be able to have some money in the winter when he gets laid off for the season. He wants things and asks me to get them for him, but he never pays me back. He says he views us as a family and that it doesn't matter who pays for things, but it does. I don't want to be asking him for money all the time later because he couldn't pay for what he wanted now. I don't want him telling me I can't get something cause it's his money when I haven't done that to him. And worse, if he leaves, I will be stranted because I helped him out and he didn't pay me back. These thoughts literally keep me up at night. Beyond that my bf is very controlling anyway. See my reply to safetynet to get that idea. Part of the issue, though, is that it's easier for me to tell he cares when he gets angry than otherwise. I almost prefer him being angry to just not caring at all. I think there's something wrong with me. I feel like I'm drowning. I really just want to give up. And I really want to cut. It's been over a year... but I'm losing the battle.
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thisisme06
Who is 'he' ? Sounds like you are in some environment where you are afraid. Cops, or social services are the best option in that situation.
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safetynet
what's wrong?
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Brittani95