Every day I feel the pain

Every day I feel it,
every day I need it,
the burning hurt,
and blinding regret,

It looks at me with a smile,
that only brings a sigh,
My body craves it,
when I hold it,
but still,
I regret it,

I see how it affects me
how its changed me
how it breaks me

Held down
with gold chains
beautiful chains,
bruised and broken wrists
Powerless to fight
the sovereign cage

I need its flavor,
just to savor,
for one more moment in time,
this is my falure

I'm falling over and over again
I know I shouldn't,
I know I couldn't,
not now
not ever again.
and still I have it.

my body is its home and my mind is its temple

its in my heart and soul,
taunting and insulting,
is its goal,
blinding my ambition,
silencing my desire

ending what hope I had,
this is the wake up to my beautiful dream.
only to awake to the nightmare of my actuality.

who have I become what have I done.......
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I like.
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O my god!! That's so good... But so sad!! Woah... That's really intense!!
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