Empty and sinking

I am so fuckin depressed my boyfriend is just fuxkin selfish I'm sorry to even vent but if I don't
Just this out I feel like I'm going to lose it .I can't talk to My friends Or Family I am To ashamed.I would hate for My friends or family to see me like this a weak crying miserable pathetic person.I just am stuck in a horrible place right now and being taken advantage of everytime I think
It will change and that my bf will appreciate me he still walks all over me and yells in my face and just makes me Feel Worthless he cheats and lies And doesn't do shot for me I Luce with him and don't really hbe any where else to go and I use to be so In love with him and now I fin myself when he touches me cringing and feeling used I just don't see The point in anything anymore every guybi have been With has cheated and hurt me an I have always thought it was me but I just don't See how I can just pretend that everything is Ok when I know I need to get away And for Some reason I think I still love him but I find myself saying I hate him more.I feel Empty a Complete emptiness In me that he use to fill I domt wanna Be like this anymore I feel like I'm losing my Mind and any little bit of Self worth I had left now it's just existing in my room crying all the time everyday all day I can't even leave my bed I feel so worthless I don't Know whatnot do or who to Turn to I Can't see Myself living like this to
Be honest I thought about committing myself because I have feelings of trying to
Kill myself again.I need something I hate myself and my life the only reason I wake up
In the morning is To feed My animals ....I feel I have nothing to live for
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Cantgetanyworse
yea, i know. same here.
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justdiealready
I empathize with what you're going through. I went through it to a much, much milder degree and it still tore me all kinds of apart, so I can only imagine the pain you must be in.
Theres always more options, and you KNOW you can't stay there.
I wish you the best.
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FinderOfPeace
justdiealready

Yes, and that's why it angers me so much. Went though a lot of bad stuff until I was of age to stop him.
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TheDevil
so you understand :)
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justdiealready
Same with my mom sad to say.
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TheDevil
yea i known
must say, can't understand that neither
i've always left on much less shit and forced my mom to get out from something similar
i just don't get it. been trough it myself but always left
don't understand why its so hard.

its a choice to accept shit or fight agains it.
i can't accept not fighting.
its idiotic.
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justdiealready
justdiealready


Yeah there are probably places she can go but it's like the Stockholm syndrome.
They need someone to actually pry them from that situation . They are psychologically fixed in place.
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TheDevil
stupid much?

theres always a place to go.
your choosing to stay.

i'm going to die before ever figuring out why people keep staying when they should not.
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justdiealready
This angers me when I hear things like this. Your boyfriend is not a man. He is scum.

I sit and read this and I am powerless to help.

All I can say is that I prey that you will be able to find a way to leave. You must leave.

If I had the means I would come there and take you away from your situation at once.

I want you to know that there are people here who care.
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TheDevil