Double Depression

After years of getting along with every group of people I met, I realize I don't fit in anywhere. Blurring lines by stepping on every rung of the of the social ladder has lead me inevitably no where. By being a friendly to everyone, I have acquired a long list of acquaintances but no friends. Without the closeness of college these friends have gone off to live their own lives with their own long lists. Thanks to modern technology I see their lives unfolding and I think where did I go wrong? My life has become a never ending cycle of work and sleep .I can not even find comfort or sanctuary in my own house. The overcrowded rooms make me long for my own bed and sleep. When I finally lay my head down on the pillow, the sadness of facing the next day of work and loneliness sinks into a knot in my stomach. I have the constant feeling of waiting, as if the conclusion to my hard work is around the corner. An ending where my hard work will pay off and my real life will begin. It never seems to come. I do not go through my these feelings completely alone. There is one person who is along for the ride; she is my constant. These years of post college limbo, has been worst for her than to me. In the past my loneliness would subside with her smile. The smiles do not come anymore. Every rejection or hardship she feels, I feel it too. The weight of both of our worries sit on top of my head. The energy and positivity it takes to reassure her and to cheer her up is running very thin. She feels the same sadness I do when she goes to sleep, I can tell by the reluctant, exhausted and melancholy good night I receive night after night. We are in need of help and change but they both terrify me above anything else.
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Chubi
ru a libra?
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secretMami
so start your own group Cathartic HUman BItches etc etc..
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scarecrow
right there with ya
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flaythezombie
You have to choose what's more important, then, your fear or your healing.
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Keyla